Ended: A Hunger Games FanFiction
by MavisK
Summary: It's 2 months after the war and things are going OK. Prim is alive, after almost dying in the explosion, news on Effie is revealed and Gale is missing. Katniss fights to get Peeta back to his old self, but will it ever happen? The Districts are getting better, but something happens that could set it all off again. (COMPLETE) (I do not own HG or any of the characters)
1. Chapter 1

I throw up a rock and load my bow as the birds soar up from the trees. My kill is already in my sights and I take two down with one arrow. I load again and shoot, my fingers sore and numb but still perfect aim. I manage to take down another three before they are too far to even see. I rock back and forth on my feet for a few minutes, knees tucked to my chest and arms crossed over them. The nightmare last night was awful. It was about my father…Peeta tried to sleep in the same room as me but he woke up screaming and Haymitch ran in to take him out. We've been living in Snow's old mansion, which is nice, but it's not home. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I don't have a home anymore. Peeta and I have "counseling" sessions, which basically means we sit in a room together and talk about all the good things that have happened. It usually ends with one of us in tears.

I ran out last night after Haymitch took Peeta away. There's a huge woods behind the mansion which always refreshes me because I've never been in it before. Anywhere else just reminds me of some awful thing but here, I am only conscious of the cold wind in my face and the sweet smell of wet snow. I finally stand up and find it hard to walk because of my numb legs. I hobble down the hill and back into the valley, my boots crunching across the snow. I try and shoot a squirrel but it darts in some thorn bushes and I just end up losing an arrow. I tromp back to the house to see Peeta standing at the back door on the balcony. I don't say anything, but climb the stairs up and enfold myself in his arms, my bow dropping to the ground. He holds me tight, and I know that no matter what happens when we're together, I can always come back to his beating heart and know that in whatever condition he is in, he's still breathing and alive.

I clean my game, with my feet hanging over the side of the porch, teaching Peeta silently how to get out the good meat. He has been begging for me to take him hunting but Haymitch says it's a terrible idea and will probably bring back the Games memories since it's the woods. So I go alone. Until Peeta is better, I will always go alone. I am frightened that I will find Gale there, and if I do, I don't think anything will stop me from putting an arrow through his heart. I don't know where he is or if he has family or friends. All I know is that he vanished after the war ended and we claimed the Capitol. Peacekeepers were kept in custody until we could sort the crazed from the normal and figure out who wasn't trying to kill me or Peeta. Then we started moving in Districts. 13's supplies was shipped out to poorer Districts, as well as a lot of other things from the Capitol. The last public announcement I made was that we were planning to make each District equal and each person would have the same rights. The people loved it and many volunteered to help. I begged Haymitch to let me go and get away from the Capitol for a while, but he said I needed sleep and minimal stress. I don't really do anything but hunt and have sessions with Peeta, but sometimes, we will bake something together or just sit and talk. It feels like heaven but with the exception of the idea that he may lash out at me at any time.

We finish cleaning the game and Haymitch calls us inside. The house is the most elegant I have ever been in before. Almost everything is made of marble (a rich delicacy in even the Capitol) and shined to perfection. There are ten bedrooms, all lavished with beautiful art pieces, queen sized beds, and many pieces of expensive furniture. I hate it all. The kitchen is the only bearable place in the house, because Peeta will help me create amazing foods. He seems calmest there, especially when we do bread or cakes. I like to watch him frost, but sometimes he has to leave because he gets reminded of the first Games and his camouflage.

Now Haymitch has us sit down in the carpeted sitting room with Prim. After she almost died in the explosion, I worked my hardest to keep her safe. She wanted to go help and heal the wounded with my mother but I forbade it in case there was a "leftover attack" as Haymitch calls it. Which means that people still hate Peeta and I for what we did and still want us dead.

Haymitch turns on the huge holographic TV and Prim cuddles up next to me. She is older now, but I still feel the terrified little girl from the reaping when she's with me. My mockingjay pin flashes on TV and the words read across the screen:

_Since the war, we have been working tirelessly to help our Districts become equal and happy. Now we are delighted to show you the beautiful progress in District 11. _

Videos after videos played of the almost completely transformed District. The big fence had been taken down totally, workers were given better conditions and fed three meals a day, (and now crops were coming in better than before because of the worker's happiness), and the whole area just seemed fresher and newer. The houses looked less beat up, the food looked nicer and almost everyone looked a little plumper.

"They've been filming since District 13 went down there and dropped off supplies and workers," explains Haymitch, "Good isn't it?"

"Fantastic," says Peeta, gripping my hand. "It looks almost brand new." I nod, a little stunned by the progress. Prim hugs me.

"We'll need you to make a public announcement tonight," says Haymitch, "We'll film it and send it off to every District, to let them know how you're feeling about everything. Might add a little personal stuff in there too?" I look at Haymitch. His tone is so much more business-like and his usual grump is gone. He doesn't even sound like he's had a pinch of scotch.

"Okay," I say, tucking my feet under me. "Read from the cards?" He shrugs.

"Effie's not here." He stands and walks out, a depressing mood settling over the room. Effie had been found dead in one of the prisons. I was infuriated because she had done nothing wrong. Haymitch didn't even try to calm me down, but got horribly drunk and ended up in the hospital. Peeta didn't see the body but was told and spent a whole two days in silence. After I got over my first horrible feelings, I saw that Haymitch was putting some of his anger into his work and snapped at me often. He calmed down considerably but something told me he had a special connection with Effie that neither I nor Peeta ever had. When I tried to ask him, he just shrugged me off and said love was stupid.

But he was a stupid man, so why not?


	2. Chapter 2

After the program was over, we all went back to our daily activities. Haymitch was making a million phone calls in his new office, Prim was meeting the delivery man who was supposed to drop off extra bandages, and Peeta asked me if I'd like to help him bake some bread for dinner.

"Okay," I answer and we head down to the kitchen. It's a huge space, complete with three ovens, four large sinks, a big dishwasher, and a pantry full of every ingredient you could think of. Peeta gets out the things we need while I read off the recipe. It's a quiet sort of work, kind of like hunting, but you don't have to carve flesh off an animal's bone. I start to scoop the flour into the bowl and Peeta comes up behind me to help. He kisses my cheek and places his strong hand on mine. I turn around and let our lips meet, feeling like I have been missing out on this since the end of the war. He hasn't been exactly the most physical except for at night, when we hold each other during the nightmares. And even then he has to leave me sometimes. I treasure this moment and rest my head on his shoulder, holding both his hands in mine.

"Hey, lovebirds!" I turn abruptly, breaking a kiss to see Johanna Mason standing in the doorway of the kitchen. She's been gone in the Districts, helping out to get things moving with Finnick, Beetee, and my mother, plus all of the volunteers. I pull away from Peeta to give her a hug, which she accepts awkwardly. Then she and Peeta hug and I run out to see the others. Finnick, in some boring work clothes and his arm around Annie, gives me a big "hello" and a hug. Haymitch, Prim, Beetee and my mother all greet one and other. I hug my mother last and she kisses my cheek.

"How are you feeling?" she whispers in my ear before letting me go.

"Better," I say, which is half-true. I step back and hold Peeta's hand as we all settle into the sitting room to talk about how the work is coming along.

"You should see the people from 11," says Beetee, "They are thrilled."

"And we counted thirty patients already healed and out of the hospital," says my mother. I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder and listen to the great progress with a smile plastered on my face. I know I should be delighted with everything, but I am getting nervous about this public announcement coming up. Am I ready to face the people? Even the ones who hate me? My stomach is churning so I sit up suddenly and mumble something about the bathroom. I walk normally out of the sitting room but break into a run until I reach the toilet. I try to hold back my vomit but it makes its way to the top and I retch until I can't breathe. Haymitch (who has a lot of history with barfing) is knocking on the door and calling my name. I manage to get up, body shaking and open it.

"Did you take my route sweetheart?" he asks, leaning against the door. "Because trust me, you can't hold your liquor." I glare at him although I'm not sure why. He's right.

"I don't feel good," I snap, rubbing my stomach.

"Obviously," he says, "Go lie down. I'll talk to your mother." I don't waste time arguing it and take the stairwell up. Peeta and I's room is not my favorite place in the world, but it has a roaring fire in the hearth today and everything looks beautiful draped in the white light of the falling snow. I curl up under the covers and tuck my knees up to my stomach. The toll of the nightmares and Peeta's condition is starting to wear on me and I just feel like sleeping for hours. And I do.

When I wake up, the snow has stopped but everything is draped in silver ice and flakes. I turn over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, counting the little dots. My body still feels exhausted but I get up anyway and pace the room for a while. The clock says it's six in the evening. Peeta is probably helping with dinner, Haymitch may have finally cracked for alcohol, Prim could be cuddling with her cat or reading her book for school. I start to feel nauseous again so I go over to the trash can and throw up. I know someone has heard so I wipe away the vomit and crawl back in bed, listening to the pounding footsteps. The door opens and I look over to see Prim holding a tray of food.

"How are you feeling?" she asks, pushing the door closed with her foot.

"Not so good," I say truthfully. But that broth smells amazing so I improvise. "I could probably eat."

"I just heard you puking Katniss," she says, pulling a chair up next to my bed and setting the tray on the table. "I would give you something if you like barfing." I shake my head wearily. She takes a cold cloth off the tray and rests it on my forehead, keeping her hand pressed for a few seconds.

"What happened to the public announcement?" I ask.

"Haymitch postponed it," she answers, helping me to sit up and handing me a cup of water. "I guess till tomorrow." I sigh and hand back the water.

"I just feel so worthless," I say.

"You're sick; it's not your fault."

"But before that…"

"You were healing," she says, sounding much too wise for her age. "You just won a war."

"It's been two months," I point out.

"And you're still screaming every night." I bite my lip and look out the window so I don't have to face her. She's right. I haven't had a dreamless night since the war ended.

"Okay, but still…" I say, glancing at her.

"Try to get some rest," she says sternly, taking the tray and leaving only the cup of water. She pauses at the door and looks back at me.

"Oh, and don't tell Haymitch I told you this," she says, "But Peeta had a little episode after you left." My eyes widen.

"What kind of episode?" I beg her to tell me.

"He just sort of lost it and really wanted you to feel okay," she says, "But don't tell anyone I told you!" I nod as she leaves, trying to sort my feelings. I am angry at Haymitch for not telling me, but excited that Peeta is feeling closer to me. I want to run downstairs and hug and kiss him but I know it would only result in my mother sending me back up and Peeta possibly having another breakdown. I decide to stay put until I feel a little bit better. I fall in and out of sleep, having more nightmares than I care to and waking up in a cold sweat. I finally forget the idea of sleep and sit by the window for a few hours, watching the snow fall again. It's not until noon the next day that someone comes in. I am sipping the cold broth carefully when Haymitch runs over to me.

"We figured it out," he says, his breath in sharp rasps. He has been running.

"Figured what out?"

"Why you're sick."

"It's just a bug-"

"No, Katniss…someone poisoned you."


	3. Chapter 3

"Poisoned?!" I cry, jumping to my feet. "Tell me you're joking!" Haymitch shakes his head grimly. Questions fly from my lips as my brain tries to wrap itself around the idea. "Who would do that? How could they have gotten in?"

"Slow down!" snaps Haymitch, "First of all, no one got in. The whole house is on security lockdown at all times, unless someone needs to go in or out and we watch their exit and entrance carefully. Second, we think we know who did it."

"Who?" I ask abruptly.

"Peeta…?" I am tempted to smack him across the face but I hold back.

"Why?" I ask through gritted teeth.

"He went on a little rampage earlier," he says. "A little fit. But we're afraid that he had another earlier and we didn't realize it. Maybe even while you were making bread…" I try to control my breath but I'm finding that a little hard. Garbled excuses spit out of my mouth.

"But he wouldn't…he's better now…he wouldn't…" Haymitch puts both his hands on my shoulders and looks me square in the eye.

"You'll live," he says, "But we're going to keep Peeta away from you for a while, just in case. Think you can do the announcement tonight?" I manage a nod but can't look at him. My Peeta. He's taking him away again, just like the Capitol did. I try not to think of it this way but an image of Snow's face on Haymitch's body flashes in my brain and I want to scream. Instead I just watch Haymitch walk out and shut the door, only stopping to tell me to try and sleep more. But I don't. Instead I take my favorite route out of the house (down the back vine) and run through the snow in my bare feet. The wind whips against my loose hair and my cheeks are red by the time I reach the small frozen lake. I fall onto my knees and collapse into the snow, the side of my head mushing into the snow. I want to cry but my eyes feel incredibly dry so I just end up making sick noises and rolling onto my back to feel the snow chill my face. It's all so unfair. Everything. Peeta. Nightmares. Effie. Haymitch and his incapability to see how stupid his plan is. I need Peeta next to me at all times. I make a pact to try and talk Haymitch out of it.

I brush off as much snow as I can but I'm still drenched as I make my way back to the house. By the time I reach the warm doorway, my lips are blue and my whole body is shaking. Finnick is the only one around (Prim is out with my mother visiting new comers who chose to live in the Capitol, Haymitch is drunk finally, Beetee is out filming with the crew and Peeta is up in his bedroom, far from me) so he helps to clean me up and when I'm warm, we sit in the library with cups of hot chocolate.

"How's Annie?" I ask, trying to make conversation.

"She's fantastic," he answers, "Best she's ever been." I can tell it's true by the happy glow on Finnick's face. Then guilt. "And Peeta?"

"Don't act like you don't know," I mumble, keeping my eyes trained on the fireplace. "Haymitch is an idiot."

"He's only doing what's right."

"By locking Peeta away, just like the Capitol did!" I blurt out, "The less time I get with Peeta, the worse he may be!" Finnick places his hand on mine.

"Just let Haymitch deal with it-"

"You mean the man who is currently drunk and romping around his room like an animal?" Finnick opens his mouth to speak again, then closes it.

"Sorry," I say, feeling ashamed suddenly. "I just…"

"No I understand," he says, "You just have to be careful Katniss. I don't think you realize how different Peeta is…"

"He WAS different," I say, "I'm tired of this. I want him back." Finnick nods and stands up to go.

"I should find Annie," he says, "She went for a walk a while ago." I follow him out and we go separate ways at the front door. I try to find something to do, but all I can think about is Peeta. I wander around the downstairs and find Snow's old office. Haymitch told me it'd be better if I stayed to the rooms he showed me. But I can't really care about what he said right now with all my anger directed at him. I open the door and step inside, instantly terrified.

There, in the middle of the floor, dripping with fresh blood, is a perfect white rose.


	4. Chapter 4

My head is reeling from the smell but my thoughts are jumbled too. The perfume. The rose. No.

"He's dead," I mutter. I raise my voice. "YOU'RE DEAD!" I am pointing at the roses like a crazy person while clinging to the doorway for support. My head is starting to pound but I can't seem to move my feet. Snow. Here. Not possible. I wrap my arms around my stomach and lean down. I carefully touch a finger to the rose but draw back with a cry as the blood is hot and burns me.

"Katniss?" Peeta is behind me, a hand to my back. I let him help me up and envelop myself in his arms.

"What's wrong?" he whispers, kissing me.

"Snow," is all I get out before the smell of the rose finally gets to me and I pass out in his arms.

I wake up in my bed with Haymitch sitting next to me. I remember I'm angry with him and glare as soon as my eyes are open.

"Little discoverer aren't you sweetheart?" he says with a chuckle.

"Shut up," I snap and find it hard to speak. My throat is coated in some sort of goo.

"You seem to spending a lot of time ill," he says, "Wonder why that is…"

"Give me back Peeta and maybe it won't."

"Katniss, Peeta was with you when you found that flower and we don't know if he set it there or if someone else did, but you need to take time away."

"Rose."

"What?"

"It's a rose, not a flower."

"Whatever. Look, we can't trust him."

"But I can!"

Haymitch just shakes his head. "That rose was poison too. Peeta was there. The facts add up." This time, I don't hold back and smack him across the face. He barely flinches at my weak arm and I collapse back onto my pillow.

"Look, it's only for a few weeks," he says, "Sometimes it's good to take time apart."

"You mean like you and Effie?" The words escape my lips before I can even try to take them back. I cover my mouth but Haymitch's reaction is all I need to know he's furious. He stands up, kicking back his chair and strides out the room, a couple swear words falling out of his mouth.

"Be ready for your announcement," he snaps, before turning away. His voice sounds broken. Is Haymitch…crying? I feel guilt-ridden immediately but try to fight that feeling away. He deserved it for not trusting Peeta. Sure, he was quiet and not his usual self always, but he was my dearest love. I lay in bed for another half hour, until the sounds of the film crew arriving drags me out of bed and I slide into the shower to avoid talking to anyone. I use every single soap, stalling my time until Prim demands I come out by pounding on the door. I slip on a robe and silently let her help me choose something to wear. She picks a simple red shirt with a loose bottom and long sleeves. I put it on with a pair of jeans I've had forever. Octavia, Flavius and Venia(who just flew in from 13 the other day when I was throwing up) come in and do simple makeup, then braid my hair to the side of my head. Prim pins on my mockingjay pin after they leave.

"You'll do great," she says, "Drink some water and the goo with wash down." I take a long gulp of water and feel the gunk slide into my stomach. A burning sensation starts in my throat and travels up to my mouth, but it leaves quickly and I am able to talk normal again. Prim leads to downstairs and we pass Peeta's room on the way. I stop, my hand on the doorknob, really wanting to see him.

"Go ahead," my sister sighs, "I'll watch for Haymitch."

"You're the best," I smile and go in. He's sitting on his bed reading a book, but looks up when I come in.

"Hi," I say.

"Katniss," he stand up and we kiss. I am more angry at Haymitch than ever. If he could see us now…

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Better."

"Katniss…I know I haven't been…perfect recently."

"Nobody's perfect Peeta," I draw back from the hug to face him. "Please don't feel bad."

"I remember a lot more now," he says, "I feel better. More sure of myself. But the rose…Haymitch says it set me off again." I hold back tears and embrace him again.

"I won't let him keep us apart," I whisper, "I promise."

"Katniss…"

"I promise," I repeat sternly, pulling back and kissing him again. His lips are so smooth and familiar and it makes me want to stay in his room for hours, but I have to leave. I walk out with a quick goodbye and into the hall. Prim is still waiting and takes my hand; I must look shaken. We go down to the sitting room where Haymitch is waiting with the camera crew.

"Been busy?" he snaps and I can tell he knows where I've been. "Don't make me lock the door." I pass him with a scowl and take a seat on the couch.

"We'll film you here," says one of the cameramen. He has spiky blue hair but it looks faded and his makeup is smeared. Capitol folk. I smooth out my braid and cross my legs. Haymitch hands me some cards and says "To follow them if I want" in the nastiest voice he can muster. I look them over quickly and decide to use the intro but not much else. To be honest, I guess I'm delighted with the progress.

"Action," mutters Green-hair. The TV lights up with my face but I keep my attention on the camera.

"Hello, I'm Katniss Everdeen, your ambassador and supporter for the rebel alliance and the New Districts. I am still in post-war care right now, and I just wanted to say…" I set the cards aside, "I just wanted to say how happy I am with the progress. People are putting aside anything else. Family, food, friends, to help us with this huge project. I wish I could be out there helping, but until I can, stay strong. I also would like to speak up about the tribute deaths and how they-" The TV suddenly fuzzes and the old Capitol seal flashes on.

"No, no, no!" cries Haymitch, "What the hell is this?!"

"The system is being overridden!" cries Beetee, running in. Johanna, Finnick, my mother and Prim, who were standing in the doorway watching, are at my side, watching the screen. The seal burns away and a young girl's face is replaced by it. She has the palest skin I've ever seen and sharp cheekbones. She looks hungry but determined for something. Her white-blonde hair is in beautiful ringlets around her face and she is wearing a ripped up shirt.

"This is a special message for Katniss Everdeen," she says. Her voice is soft and sweet, like she is a friend and not someone trying to interrupt my speech. "I never got to thank you for killing my grandfather. You must remember President Snow?" The snakelike eyes belong to her as she smiles pleasantly. "You are the girl on fire aren't you? Well believe me when I say:

"I will burn you until your ashes are at my feet."


	5. Chapter 5

I'm falling, faster and faster. All I can see are the trees above me and Peeta is calling my name. Then I land. Hard. I wake up in my bedroom, face flat on the floor. I roll over onto my back and panic overcomes me. Snow's granddaughter…was it a dream? No. Too real. Nothing foggy about it. I sit up and tuck my knees up to my chest just as someone walks into the room. Johanna.

"Hey weirdo," she says, but her tone is kind. "I brought you some bread." She holds out one of the fancy china plates from downstairs, bread from my District on it, lathered in butter.

"Thanks," I mumble, taking it. I set it on the table as she sits down beside me.

"So…Snow's got a relative, you passed out, Haymitch is pissed and I'm exhausted," she says, "Can I kill this one?" I scoff. Johanna nudges me. "Maybe she's not a huge threat. All bark and no bite. She looks young."

"Yeah," I say. I have nothing else to say. I'm not really concerned…yet. But at the same time, I am reliving those awful moments of war. Prim almost dying…Effie found dead…Peeta…no. I stand up.

"She can't," I say. My voice is shaky. "When they touched Peeta…"

"That was a long time ago," says Johanna, standing up next to me. "They won't be stupid enough to try it again."

"They?"

"She can't be acting completely alone. Now c'mon, Haymitch wants you." Despite my anger at my mentor, I follow Johanna downstairs. I almost peek into Peeta's room again, but I decide against it. Then I'm happy to find him in the sitting room with everyone else. Haymitch, carrying a bottle of red wine, gets up to greet me but my mother drags him back to his seat with a sigh.

"He's drunk," she says, shaking her head. The room is silent as I sit down. Haymitch chugs his drink, Finnick holds Annie's hand, Prim holds her cat, and Beetee is just twisting a small wire round his fingers. Johanna finally gets frustrated and jumps to her feet.

"We need a plan!" she cries, "Anything! Beetee, can we track where that call came from?"

"I cannot," he says, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "They're as smart- if not smarter- than even I." Johanna keeps questioning everyone but I know it's ridiculous to even try and formulate a plan. If she's brave enough to threaten me, she obviously has something awful up her sleeve. I have my eyes on the floor but look up when someone taps my back. Peeta is behind me. He silently gestures for us to go. Everyone seems to have gotten in a big conversation about what won't work, so I take Peeta's hand and we go to the balcony. It's cold, but I can't be bothered by that. He holds me in his big arms again and I feel cozy. Neither of us say anything which is perfect. We never have to. I try not to think about Snow's granddaughter but it's hard. Her image is still in my mind.

"Are you scared?" Peeta asks it easily, without beating around the bush.

"Yes," I admit, but I don't feel shameful. I can tell him anything. "Are you?"

"Yeah. But only because I don't want to lose you." I feel like I could cry. He sounds like my old Peeta.

"I don't want to lose you either," I say. It sounds cheesy but it's true so I don't care. I pull back a little from his arms to kiss him. His lips are warm unlike the snow that is quickening it's falling pace around us. I touch his cheek every so carefully and finally feel like he's more real than ever. Right when I need him to be. I don't know what makes me do it, but I whistle Rue's little notes and kiss him again. Like everything familiar is finally good and not dreadful memories of the war. He smiles and whistles the melody back to me.

"We're going to be okay," he says. He looks truly beautiful with the snow landing on his hair and lashes, his lips smooth and pink.

"Yeah, we are," I answer and with one last look at him, go in for a big kiss.

Beetee decides that he'll try harder to trace the call, but Peeta is kind to point out that if the granddaughter wants Katniss, she'll come here.

"She won't be able to get in," says Haymitch groggily from his place at the kitchen counter. Peeta and I are baking bread while discussing Beetee's plan. Haymitch has been too drunk recently to try and keep me and Peeta apart, so we've been using the time to make food and plan for an attack. I like to listen to music while we work, and Peeta even danced with me once. He has been having worse nightmares than usual, but we can sleep in the same bed now.

"That's true," says Beetee, buttering a piece of bread. "We're on security lockdown, remember?"

"But they hacked into our systems and even Beetee can't track them," says Peeta, placing his hands on mine to help me knead the bread. Haymitch chews on his thumbnail and shrugs.

"We wait then." He leaves the kitchen abruptly, kicking back his chair. We finish the bread and put it in the oven. Peeta says he doesn't feel great and I can tell he needs time alone, so I offer to go hunting. I leave him in the hands of Prim and head out, my bow slung over my shoulder and a sheath of arrows on my back. It's snowing even harder now, but I shoot down a couple birds and squirrels before sitting down by the lake on a big log. I don't feel pressured to think of anything and just catch snowflakes on my tongue until I get bored. The snow is cold against my thin pants, so I get up and turn to head back. That's when I hear it. A small crack of a branch. I turn, hunting instincts alert and see a big buck, just a small sapling in the way of me and him. I duck behind some thorns and load an arrow. I hold it back just to the limit and am about to release when someone steps in front of it. I scream and point it upwards, shooting the arrow into the sky. I jump onto my feet and face the person. Their face is scratched up and covered in blood splatters, but I would know them anywhere. My heart leaps into my throat as I realize who it is.

Gale


	6. Chapter 6

I don't really know what happens next, except that I end up on the ground, my fist held above Gale's face.

"You son of a-"

"Katniss, please!"

"YOU LEFT!" I scream hysterically, "You almost kill my sister and then you LEAVE!" I am about to let my fist hit him when he looks at me in such a way that I wait. I finally notice every wound on his face, every scratch and scar. He looks like he's been tortured.

"Please," he begs, "Just let me explain." I get off him and lower my hand, my sympathy taking over. But I won't put my bow back on my shoulder and grip it until my knuckles are white as the snow.

"I didn't want to leave," he says. His voice is hoarse and it only makes me want to hug him and say I am sorry. But I have to stay strong. For Prim. Inside of me, I'm still angry at him a little.

"I got kidnapped," he says, "Three men threw a bag over my head, took all my weapons. They killed any rebels around me but…took me away. I tried to get away but I just couldn't. Katniss…please believe me. They tortured me for weeks. They wanted information on you."

"Who?"

"I don't know, but they're desperate to find you and kill you. Look, whatever happened between us is in the past. I am sorry about Prim…just let me help you. I don't want anyone like that finding you." I am almost crying at his story. I remember his screams from the jabberjays and realize that he actually probably sounded like that. I bite my lip and nod.

"I missed you so much," I manage to get out. "I'm sorry."

"No, I should be sorry," he whispers. I don't say anything, but look him over carefully.

"Some things…have happened," I say, guilt creeping into my voice. "Peeta…"

"I know," he answers, looking down at the snow. "I knew you'd always end up with him. Good I got out of the way right?"

"No!" I cry, "He was in pain, he didn't understand! When I'm there, he's better somehow. And I love him." I kick a chunk of snow awkwardly.

"Okay," he says flatly, "I get it."

"C'mon, let's get you to the house."

I feel the need to hide Gale until he looks a little better, so we sneak in through my bedroom window and I take him to my bathroom.

"Use anything you need," I say, turning to leave him alone.

"Katniss," he says, "Can you help me get this shirt off?" I want to say no, but it's caked in blood and he's struggling to get it off his head. I help him peel it off, rubbing water from the sink over his skin. I cast it to the side and look back at Gale. He's still too skinny and looks like he hasn't eaten in weeks.

"I've been eating snow," he answers my question, "On my way to get back to you." I offer to go get him some food before I do something stupid like cry. I leave the bedroom and go downstairs to the kitchen where Peeta is making dinner with my mother.

"Hi sweetie," she says, kissing my head. "Oh, you smell like blood. I told you not to get the animal's flesh all over yourself."

"Sorry, I'll shower," I say, "Can I take my dinner upstairs?" Peeta looks at me suspiciously then nods. I kiss him on the cheek before wrapping up some bread, a cup of broth, and several pieces of fruit. I leave quickly, passing a drunk Haymitch in the hallway. I run back upstairs, careful not to spill the soup and find Gale clean and wrapped in a towel from his waist down.

"Here," I say, giving him the food. "Eat." He scarfs down the food at the window seat while I sit and watch him. It's already getting dark outside and the snow looks even more beautiful when it's falling. I look back at Gale and notice all of the scars and bruises on his chest.

"Do you want some cream for those?" I ask, a bit awkwardly.

"Yeah," he says, finishing off his broth. "Thanks." I sneak off to my mother's bathroom and find the healing cream. I don't know why I'm doing this. Maybe it was Gale's story. Or maybe he was lying. Maybe he was still that young boy who found me in the woods, content on destroying any kind of government. I sigh and head back to the room. Gale is finishing his bread when I hand him the cream. I can tell he wouldn't mind if I did it for him, but he takes it anyway and rubs it over his chest and face.

"I heard about Snow's granddaughter," he says, "Must be who kidnapped me."

"I guess," I say, shrugging. "We're 'waiting it out' apparently. We can't attack them and they know where we are so they'll have to make the first move." Gale nods.

"Who have they elected for president?" he asks.

"We don't have one," I say, "I guess I'm like a leader, but Peeta hasn't been in a good enough state to give any speeches. I gave one the other day, but it was the first. The Districts were getting so much better…now someone wants to come blow it all up again."

"Is there anything else I should know?" he asks, rubbing my back softly.

"Effie's dead," I say plainly.

"I remember her. She was nice. Prim and proper, but nice."

"I think Haymitch loved her," I blurt out.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Well it's a bit late for that now, isn't it?" He looks sad but speaks the truth.

"Yeah." I finally give him the hug we haven't had in several months. He smells of fancy soap, but there's still the smell of him somewhere mixed in. Smokey and dusty like the mines, but the perfect smell to me. Suddenly, the door is swung open by none other than Haymitch, standing shirtless and carrying a bottle of scotch.

"Cuff him," he snaps and two guards march in, heading straight for Gale.


	7. Chapter 7

"Haymitch NO!" They're the first words out of my mouth as one of the guards gets to Gale.

"Katniss, this man is a criminal."

"You were drunk five seconds ago!" I cry.

"I was not…" I take Gale's arm as the guard freezes in his place.

"Katnis…" Haymitch rubs his eyes. "This man is a convicted criminal. He almost killed Prim."

"He was kidnapped you idiot!" I cry, "Tortured for information on me!"

"Is that what he told you?" The words hang in the air like dense fog and I turn around to face Gale. His face is creased with fear, something I hadn't seen in his eyes before. He whispers my name and grips my hands in his.

"Yes," I say finally, turning back to Haymitch. "And he's telling the truth." Haymitch studies me carefully, his eyebrows bent in anger.

"Fine," he grumbles, "But he has to tell us everything he knows and you have to introduce him back to everyone." My stomach gives a nervous leap but I nod and Haymitch leaves with his guards.

"Thank you," says Gale like he's just returning to breathing as normal.

"You were telling the truth, right?" I ask.

"Katniss, of course," he says, taking my hand. "I wouldn't tell you anything else." I trust him for now and tell him we have to announce him to the others. I gather everyone in the sitting room and stand in front of the TV, horribly nervous. Peeta sits closest to me, his eyes worried. I just want to fall into his arms and stay there forever, but I stand, my mouth in a thin line.

"I have an announcement," I say, "We have new, um, updates on Snow's granddaughter. Someone was taken captive and forced to give information." I realize I never asked Gale how he got away, or what he told them. "I don't know if that person did give anything away, but they are here now. If any of you freak out, I will shoot an arrow through your head. Okay?" My mother opens her mouth to say something but closes it as Gale (dressed in some of Peeta's clothes) walks in. Prim gives a small cry but other than that; dead silence. I keep my distance from Gale, and stay close to Peeta, who looks shocked beyond belief. Haymitch is holding back a laugh, I can tell. I glare at him until Peeta speaks up.

"So what do you know?" he asks, his voice harsh and rude.

"I know that I didn't tell them anything," answers Gale, "I got away, but I think they wanted me to. I think they realized I'd be no help and that I would come back to you. I guess they want me to tell you what I saw."

"Which was?" asked Johanna, who had been staring blankly at him since he arrived.

"Nothing really," he says, "They threw a bag over my head and tossed me in a truck I think. Four left turns, then we went straight for forever. One right turn and they got me out and took me to a cold cell. They took off the bag. I was the only one in there. I don't know how long they interrogated me, but the person who did it wore a mask the whole time. I think it was underground. Smelled like the mines." He shudders. I can see it now. A small enclosed room, coated in stone, which smelled like the place that killed my father so many years ago. I feel like I could lose my lunch just thinking about it.

"Okay," says Peeta, "So that's not much help. What did they ask you?"

"Only one thing," he says, "How to get into Snow's mansion. I told them I didn't know. Over and over." I can see the pain behind his eyes and my mother's face is streaked in tears already. Prim suddenly gets up, walks over to him, and right when I think she's going to chew him out, she throws her arms around his neck and hugs him.

"I forgive you," she says softly, so that only Gale and I can hear it. Finnick, who has been silent this whole time, stands up.

"We need to be ready for an attack," he says, "If they figured out anything from Gale, we'll have to be prepared."

"We are prepared," mumbles Haymitch, "Look, we've got max security. They can't get in or out."

"Alright, but if they do get in," says Finnick, ignoring Haymitch's murderous looks. "We should all have weapons."

"I have my bow and arrows in my room," I say.

"I keep a knife under my mattress," admits Peeta, standing up to hold my hand.

"That won't be enough," says Finnick, "Prim, you and your mother come with me to the weaponry room. Beetee, come along and show us how to work some of these." I can tell Finnick is nervous because he keeps moving his hands like he's knotting a rope. Annie, who was staring off into space until now, holds one of his hands and whispers something in his ear.

"Let's go," says Finnick.

"Not yet you don't." A new voice, as soft and silk as butter, sends a shiver through me. I turn around to see her. Long white hair, snakelike eyes, clothed in all black and carrying a small gun in one hand.

And in her other hand, she is dragging Effie Trinket by the arm.


	8. Chapter 8

Haymitch is the first to react. He doesn't go insane. He just steps very slowly over to Snow's granddaughter. The girl is completely still until she raises one hand and reveals a small tube shaped piece of metal.

"You can have her," she says softly, jerking Effie's arm forward. I finally focus in on the woman. Her normal wig is gone in place for messy blonde hair, her makeup was wiped off lazily and is smeared round her face, and she has a rather big scar down her face. Her bring pink dress is dirty and ripped and someone has thrown a gray shawl over it to keep her warm. But it's thin and she's shivering in the doorway.

"But touch me," the girl continues, "And I will shock you with this electricity wand so hard you won't be able to say a last word."

"Aren't you pleasant?" says Haymitch, taking Effie's hand and pulling her over. My mother helps her sit down, but she still looks terrified as hell.

"Katniss Everdeen?" says the girl, "I wanted to cordially meet."

"You're alone," I say, standing up. The girl laughs.

"Oh no," she says, "I am not alone dear girl. In fact, I have twenty gunmen waiting outside. However, this is just a kind meeting to tell you my name and to make a little agreement." I clench my teeth.

"Your agreement is torturing my friend?" I snap, pointing at Gale. "Or my mentor?" I look to Effie who is whimpering softly.

"That was just to try and meet you," she says, "I really didn't want to."

"Liar," says Gale.

"It's what I do," she answers, "You should know that. I'm a liar, simple as that. Anyway, my name is Vanessa. And not to be dramatic or anything, but you're all dead to me. Except you Katniss Everdeen. I have special plans for you. Bye now."

"No-!" I cry out, but she suddenly fuzzes like a TV and vanishes. I can feel my heart pounding against my chest. It feels like I'm back in the Games, being told that either Peeta or I has to die.

"Why didn't you just kill her there and now?!" I snap at Haymitch but I have no reason to be angry. He has run to Effie's side and looks about as dangerous as a butterfly as he holds her hand and whispers something to her. I am shaking all over and Peeta stands up to hold me. I can see the flicker of annoyance in Gale's eyes but I have no energy left to care. I don't want it to happen all over again. I look around the room and am reminded of my entire team before we left to kill Snow. How they each died, one after the other, picked off like mere animals. Just like the Games. Haymitch, who has left Effie with my mother, tells me that he and Beetee are going to try and track the signal and get all of the soldiers back in training. I know it's no use though. This girl, Vanessa, has the upper hand right now. She left that rose, she must've poisoned me…I don't say any of this out loud, but simply leave the room and go sit on the freezing balcony. Peeta has chosen to go with Haymitch to help but Gale follows me and sits down beside me.

"So what's the plan Soldier Everdeen?" he asks. My brain is working way too hard to try and capture everything that has happened, but I know one thing. Things will never calm down completely. There will always be one person who wants me dead.

"I have no idea," I manage to get out. "I want everything to be okay. Just for once. Peeta was finally better…I was almost happy…You came back…" Gale looks heartbroken at my words, but doesn't try to hug me or take my hand. We sit in silence, watching the tree line for nothing in particular. I am finally able to grasp some ideas and decide that maybe it'd just be a good idea to hand me over. But they'd still attack my family and friends. We could make some sort of deal maybe. An actual peaceful deal.

"I need to go check on Haymitch and Beetee," I say, standing up abruptly. I practically run from the balcony and down to the control room where Peeta is explaining something.

"Stop whatever you're doing," I say, "We need to come up with a peaceful solution." Beetee stares at me like I'm crazy and Haymitch actually spits out his drink.

"Did you see what she did to Effie?" snaps Peeta, "Look at her! Look at Gale!"

"Fighting them won't do anything!" I cry, "We'll lose more than we can gain! All those people up there will die for the soul purpose of keeping Peeta and I alive!" Peeta groans and slams his fists against the table.

"Katniss," he says in a quiet tone, "I can't have anything like that happening to you. Just like Effie. And Gale."

"I want to come up with a solution," I say.

"It won't work," says Haymitch, "You'll get yourself killed."

"I'd rather die than have everyone else dead," I retort. "Please, can we at least try?" Haymitch clenches the side of the table and Peeta looks on the edge of insanity, but they both agree.

"Okay," says Haymitch, "But on one condition. If it looks messy, we get out fast."

"Yes," I agree, walking over to Peeta and hugging him. "It'll be okay."

That night at dinner, everyone learns the new plan and Beetee works tirelessly to figure out how to schedule a meeting with Vanessa. I'm quiet through the meal as Haymitch explains everything to the others. I don't get a good sleep that night, but Peeta rolls over around midnight and we talk for a while.

"Are you okay?" I whisper, holding his hand against the pillow, right between our lips.

"I don't want you to get hurt is all," he says softly. "Even when my memory was jumbled, I felt this need to protect you."

"I won't get hurt. I swear. I won't let them take you again. Or worse, kill you." I shudder at the thought. My life would be over whether my heart was beating or not.

"I swear I won't get hurt either."

"So we'll always come back to this right? You and me alone."

"Always."

The next morning, Beetee connects with Vanessa. Whether by luck, skill, or the mere fact that Vanessa wanted to talk with us and connected it herself, I am pleased to see her. Her face is the only thing on screen, with a black background behind her. She looks quite content considering her upper hand and waves to me as I sit down in front of the screen.

"Katniss," she says smoothly. "Good to see you again. You know, I was really hoping we could do this in real life."

"Not a chance, sorry," I say, the words falling out easily. I'm not nervous for some reason. "So, how did you get into the mansion?"

"Secrets," she says, her finger on her lips. "Why don't I just tell you my plan? Simpler. I'll skip the details too." Everyone in the room seems to be more alert than ever.

"Okay," she begins, "First of all, when you killed my grandfather, I was delighted. He was selfish you know. Wouldn't take my ideas because I was too young. So he died. I took over. But you won your little war and then, voila, I have a hundred Peacekeepers dying for food and water and a home. Underground bunker where the President was supposed to go when there was a war raging outside his front door. Mine. Peacekeepers healthy and having babies. Mine. I finally have enough to overpower you Ms. Everdeen. And once I do, I have the best end plan of all." My pulse has quickened and my hands are shaking. This girl, who reminds me so much of Snow, wants my whole world turned upside down again.

"Here's what I'm thinking," she says, her voice barely a whisper. "How about a worldwide Hunger Games?"


	9. Chapter 9

The screen has gone black. The least I can say is everyone is freaking out. Haymitch is contacting soldiers from 13, while Beetee is trying to reconnect the server as well as get out hovercrafts available for launch, Finnick is making more plans than he can count, and my mother and Prim are packing up all their first aid things. I feel useless, so Peeta accompanies me down to the training room, where we find Gale throwing knives at a board in anger. Peeta mumbles something about finding some extra arrows and leaves me alone with him. I sit down on one of the cold benches, my thin exercise pants not keeping me warm.

"Are you okay?" I ask. My stomach is still churning from the earlier news and I try to keep my lunch in as I speak.

"No," he growls, throwing one more knife at the board before turning to me. "What does she mean by a worldwide Hunger Games?" I am on the verge of tears just thinking about it. Death everywhere. Is she a maniac ready for the world to end? Does she want to be the victor with all the glory?

"I guess she wants to be a victor," I say, my thoughts coming out loud.

"That's stupid," he says, "Humanity, gone. What will she do?" An image of Gale dressed in a Peacekeeper's outfit flashes in my mind.

"Slaves or nothing," I say, "If she turns everyone into Peacekeepers…or to follow her rule…"

"Or maybe she wants nothing but a Capitol," says Peeta, walking back in from the supply closet. "Rich or slave."

"She wants us dead," says Gale, "But maybe she's bluffing. Wouldn't it be a laugh if she turned us into slaves? The great girl on fire serving Snow's granddaughter."

"Hilarious," I snarl. Peeta shrugs.

"He's right," he says, "Rebels would love it."

"We ARE the rebels!" I cry.

"We were Katniss. Now we're the bosses and anyone who disagrees is a rebel."

"What could they disagree with?"

"Putting certain people in jail," says Gale, walking over and flinging another knife. "They might not agree with who goes and who gets luxury." I sigh, feeling like I've been wrong this whole time about everyone loving the new way of life. I grab my bow and a sheath of arrows and head over to my favorite target. Each fly of an arrow calms me a little more. I love the sure sound of the arrow hitting the board, the whoosh of it sailing through the air…I show Peeta a few simple shots with a smaller bow, then move him up to a bigger one. I am in my element and almost smile when Gale cracks a joke about the time I dragged a whole deer home and almost collapsed on the way. Peeta seems almost happy with Gale's presence but the darkness of the new enemy is settling quicker and I leave the center with my heart still heavy.

Peeta and I are once again in each other's arms that night, my head full of bad dreams until I wake up with a scream, gripping Peeta's arm. He awakes next to me and grabs me at once, kissing me.

"It's just a dream," he whispers, my head resting on his shoulder in a hug. I don't answer, just let him wipe the tears off my cheeks as I try to forget the nightmare. It was Vanessa, whose head turned into a snake and ripped off the heads of old tributes. Clove, Glimmer, Cato, Foxface, Wiress…I sigh and push it out of my mind to make room.

Suddenly, the door is kicked open and I look up from the embrace to see five Peacekeepers march in. Peeta is on his feet in an instant and pushes me behind him. The first Peacekeeper lunges for him but Peeta just dodges him and knocks another in the face with a lamp. I scream and go for my bow but I am enclosed in darkness as someone throws a bag over my face. Fumes fill my nose…that horrible perfume from the rose is making me woozy. I am disoriented, stumbling around the room. I manage to get it off my eyes but the image is even worse than darkness. Peeta is lying on the ground, crying out in pain.

"Peeta!" I shriek and I try to get to him, but there's a horrible clunk of metal on flesh and he isn't moving. The bag falls over my eyes again and someone pulls both arms behind my back. The fumes mixed with my screams eventually wear me out and I slip out of consciousness into another nightmare…

I'm running as fast as I can, but something is still slowing down. Hands reach up from the ground and claw at my ankles, begging for flesh. Dust fills my throat and finally I collapse, letting something drag me away.

I wake up but no scream escapes me. My mouth is gagged by a limp kerchief, my arms bound by ropes against a stone wall. I'm in some sort of dungeon. It reeks of dead bodies and the floor is covered in muddy straw. I spit out the gag and call out for Peeta a few times.

"Peeta please!" I beg, my body clenched against the cold. I try to get to my feet but the bonds are tied to a hook too low on the wall.

"PEETA!"

"Oh look you're awake," someone says. A Peacekeeper comes around the corner carrying a large machine gun.

"Where's Peeta?" I ask. He doesn't say anything.

"WHERE IS PEETA?!" I can't seem to stop yelling. I pull against the ropes. "Tell me what's going on!"

"Calm down," Vanessa appears at the cage. "You're a feisty little fire girl aren't you?" She looks clean and out of place in this dank cellar. Her short white business dress is ironed and free of stains, her white-blonde hair curled round her face. I look like a pig next to her.

"Shut up," I scowl, "You don't know me."

"The whole world knows you," she says, "And that seems to be my problem. So, want to hear my fantastic plan?" She doesn't wait for an answer. "Here it is. As you and your little friends said, rich or slave." How did she hear us say that? "You were right! I will recreate the Capitol, and anyone I deem worthy can be in it. That's the little prize for my Peacekeepers. Riches and a new life. I have more forces than you can imagine. The gleam of freedom glistens for them. Anyway, people like you will be turned into Avoxes or worse. Sound fun?" I am full of rage to say the least. I want to tear her head off and scream and punch every Peacekeeper in the mouth but I can't. Instead I stay stiff and silent, my mouth in a thin line.

"And the best part," she says softly, ignoring my muteness. "Is that you will be publicly executed once my new world is set in stone. Oh! And I almost forgot." She turns to the Peacekeeper next to her. "Bring in the boy." Boy? What boy? I long to see Peeta alive and well, but that's not who it is.

"Finnick!" He is bruised and a little bloody, but he is alive. For that I am grateful. The Peacekeeper pushes him in.

"Have fun," chirps Vanessa before clicking away in her heels, the Peacekeeper behind her.

"Oh Finnick," I whimper, "Are you okay? What happened to Peeta? Is everyone else alive?"

"I don't know," he says, helping to untie me with his shaky hands. "I was with Annie in the sitting room. We were the last ones left. She left to go to bed and then they found me. I don't know what happened to Peeta. What did you see?" His voice is hoarse like he's been yelling.

"It was awful," I mumble, "One second it was all calm and the next…Oh Finnick, I heard them hit him with something. He wasn't moving." Finnick finishes taking off my bonds and I collapse into the wall, rubbing my wrists.

"How did they get in?" he wonders aloud, "The entire house was on an even more high-status security lockdown." I wish I had any sort of idea, but all I can do is try not to imagine a funeral for Peeta. Finnick sits in silence for a little while, but then starts to inspect the door for a way out. The only other exit is a small window with bars above us which tells me it's late in the night.

"Finnick…" I say in a small voice, "What if we never get out? Our people can only do so much." He walks back over to me and sits down beside me.

"They'll get us out," he says, "If you love someone enough, you're sure to get out. Peeta and Annie are waiting."

"Unless they're dead!" I blurt out, before turning away and lying down on the cold ground. It's a restless sleep and I can tell that Finnick is worried about Annie because he won't stop tossing and turning. I try not to think about Peeta, but like a sickness, it spreads across my brain until I'm shaking and crying. I hate small spaces. Always have. But this is beyond horrible, trapped down here with the smell and my only friend is having mini panic attacks about the love of his life.

"Katniss," Finnick is nudging me. I open my eyes and wipe the tears away.

"What is it?" I mumble. I pull myself to sitting position and look over where Finnick is pointing. There, in the middle of the floor, is Peeta.

And his chest isn't moving.


	10. Chapter 10

"PEETA!" I am screaming, running to his side. Finnick is trying to hold me back but I pull myself from his arms and manage to get to Peeta's side. I try to touch him, but something is holding me back. Like an invisible shield, protecting his body.

"PEETA!" I am screaming again as I slam my whole body into the shield, only to be filled with a painful electric shock. I am sobbing now, dirt and tears running down my cheeks. Finnick manages to pull me away but he leaves me alone in the corner as Peeta's body is replaced with Annie's. Except she's not dead. Just in horrible pain, writhing back and forth, blood coating her stomach. Finnick makes a horrible sobbing noise and runs to her. But he is filled with the same electrocution as I was and Annie's body is gone only ten seconds later. I am shaking, sitting with my back against the wall, getting trickles of water from the small spout on the wall. I am having trouble breathing.

"Where did they get their bodies?" I whisper, my voice cracking at every word. Finnick collapses beside me, holding his stomach in obvious pain.

"I have no idea," he spits out. His breath is shaky like mine as his lips beg for water under the spout. I stay tucked against the wall for the next hour or so, trying to work out what the heck is wrong with this place.

"I think it's made to show our greatest fears," says Finnick after a while. "Maybe that's it." I give a sigh of relief, as it sounds very plausible. Maybe we'll be okay. Maybe Peeta is okay. The night drags into day, but there is no sun to make it brighter down here. The clouds threaten rain and eventually it begins to fall, making a puddle in our sitting place. I move to another area but Finnick busies himself with inspecting the caging more. Then it happens. Prim is in the other cell right next to ours. How could I have not seen her before?

"Katniss!" she screams, gripping the bars. "KATNISS!"

"Katniss, it's not real," Finnick is behind me, gripping my shoulder. "She's not real. Prim is safe remember? The mansion." But my thoughts are only on my little sister, begging for me to come to her. I pull away from Finnick, determined that Prim is real. I grip the bars and feel that same electric shock and feel myself fly backwards.

"KATNISS NO!" Finnick is shaking me but my eyes won't open again. My head hurts and I smell blood. The last thing I remember is Finnick dragging me against a wall and putting something soft under my head…

When I wake up, everything looks slightly hazy. I'm sitting in the prison still, but Finnick is not anywhere to be found. Then he's there. Fuzzy, but there. His face is filled with horror and it scares me to death. Then the water starts. Seeping up through a drain, and filling the room quickly. I stand up, my whole body uneven and wobbly on my bare feet. I stumble over to Finnick and grab his arm.

"We gotta go," I mumble, but my words sound unclear to my own ears. The water is filling up faster but Finnick isn't moving. He's in shock. His face is white as chalk and his feet won't go anywhere. The water is up to my waist now and things are coming into focus, scaring me more.

We're going to drown.

"Finnick!" I cry, dragging him to the door. "We have to get out!" The water is to my chest now and I am pulling myself up on the bars.

"Finnick!" one more garbled cry before he reacts and starts to flail around in the water. He gets ahold of himself and grabs me, kicking off the wall. We shoot across the prison and he takes me over to the window.

"Keep getting air," he says, "I'm going to work with the drain." I try to tell him no, but he dives back into the water before I can get the words out. I pull myself up higher, so I am gripping the bars of the window and my bottom tries to sit on the ledge of it.

"Finnick, please…" I whisper. I question how the water is not spilling through the bars but then remember Peeta and Prim. They weren't really there. It's been at least a minute and I can't see Finnick due to the deepness of the water. Finally, I give up on waiting and dive in with a deep breath. The water is not normal underneath the surface. It's thick and muggy like a summer's heat, with debris in my line of vision. I see Finnick, having some sort of fit at the bottom. His teeth are clenched in agony and his fists swinging at nothing but water. I swim over to him, feeling my air leaving me. He kicks and claws at me as I pull him up higher and higher, until we reach the top. I fly out of the water with a huge breath, relief filling me.

"Finnick," I gasp. He's calm again but his eyes are bloodshot and wide, his hands gripped at nothing. I help him grab onto the window but am taken by the water before I can say goodbye. I swim back to the bottom and find the drain, which is just pushing out more and more water. I rip off the top and reach my hand inside, trying to find some way to stop it. It fills me with electrocution again, but it doesn't seem to travel in the water for some reason. I take one last try at gripping something, anything and find a small cord. I rip it out just as I am unable to hold any more breath and my lungs scream for oxygen. The water is gone faster than it came, leaving me lying on the ground, gasping for air. Finnick jumps down from the window and breaks down next to me.

"We have to get out of here," I say weakly, "I can't do this anymore." Finnick is about to speak when a new voice cuts across him.

"Indeed you do sweetheart." I turn to the cage door and see him. Like a beacon of hope, my mentor is standing in the doorway wielding a huge machine gun.

"Haymitch."


	11. Chapter 11

Finnick grabs my arm and pulls me away from Haymitch.

"Don't," he says, "Remember what happened?" I want to run out of that door so much, but I know it could kill me and I hold back.

"Haymitch?" I say softly.

"We need to go," he snaps, "We have about ten minutes before they realize we're in here and send the whole place down in explosives." He sounds so real but Finnick shakes his head shortly.

"What are you waiting for?!" cries Haymitch, "Peeta! Show her you're alive and okay!" My heart skips a beat as Haymitch lights up a small hologram with Peeta's face on it.

"Katniss!" he shouts, "You need to get out." I manage to get away from Finnick's grasp and reach for Peeta, not caring if I live or die.

"I'm real," he says, "I'm the real Peeta." I grab Haymitch's sleeve and feel nothing. Finnick cries out in relief and runs over. Haymitch shuts down the hologram.

"Here's the plan," he says, "We're going to travel through the above air vents and we'll come out at a balcony. We have to jump, but I've got padding for both of you"- he pats a huge backpack he's been carting around- "and it won't be as bad. Katniss, I have your bow and arrows. Finnick, your trident. Did they try and get any info out of you yet?" Finnick shakes his head. "Good. We'll jump, and then we have about five seconds to make it across the gardens to the exit. There are land mines everywhere but Beetee mapped them out in this hologram for us and we can make it through safe if we go slow."

"But you said we have five seconds," I mumble, my heart already sinking at this plan. The place is practically impenetrable. And air vents aren't the best way to travel.

"Exactly," he says, "We have to go fast but carefully."

"Okay," says Finnick, gripping my hand. "Let's do it." I am still unsure, but take the padding and the bow. I swing my sheath around my chest and help Finnick strap a net to his back just in case. I finally see the other side of the cell. A big stone area, with lots of traps and chains. It looks like we might have gone there next. Finnick drags me further and I realize how much my limbs hurt. I catch my reflection in a shattered piece of glass and see the many cuts and scars. My braid is mangled and my eyes look tired. Girl on fire, broken.

We get to the first air vent and Finnick goes first. It's barely big enough to hold Haymitch, so I slip in easily, the days without food helping. Haymitch goes behind me, the backpack sliding in front of him. I wish I could bring out my bow and have it at the ready, but my arrows smack the top with every step so I decide it's safer not to. We finally reach the end and find fog awaiting us. I look out past Finnick and see a small garden, from the building to a high security fence.

"We've disabled any cameras for now," hisses Haymitch behind me, "The first land mine is two feet from where we will land when we jump, so be careful. Finnick, go." Finnick throws down his trident first, then with a kiss on my hand and a salute to Haymitch, he plunges down. I immediately look down and see him getting to his feet. He gives me a quick thumbs up and with a last look at Haymitch, I jump before I have any second thoughts. The blow of the impact takes my breath out of my lungs, but I regain it quickly as Finnick pulls me to my feet. The only pain is in my back where I landed and it's not that bad. The padding is amazing. Haymitch comes down next, gracefully landing in a crouched position. He jumps to his feet and opens the hologram.

"The first one is right there," he says, pointing to the smallest water sprinkler painted green so you could not see it unless you were really looking for it. Finnick goes first , jumping over it gracefully. I follow him.

"Faster," says Haymitch behind us. We dodge more and more, running faster. At one point, I almost trip on one and hold back while Finnick moves on.

That's when the last one blows up in his face.


	12. Chapter 12

Everything seems to go in slow motion. Haymitch pins me to the ground, my mouth open with a scream that never comes. Dirt pushes in and I gag, my eyes closing for a second. The explosion is loud and my body shakes against the ground.

"Finnick!" it's the first word I get out, spitting grime from my mouth and scrambling to my feet. Haymitch has let me go but he is still right on my tail as I run to Finnick's limp body. The sound of the explosion is still ringing in my ears and I am having trouble seeing, but I can make out the huge wound on Finnick's face. It covers the right side of his head and almost reaches his eye, but stops there. My shaking hands try to halt the blood, but Haymitch just pushes me aside and straps a big bandage on his face. I am still trying to get a grip on the whole area and realize we're at the gate. Bloody hands, which I'm guessing are mine, slip and slide as I unlock the gate easily. It must've already been open. I push it open and stumbling to my feet, run into the suddenly freezing area. They must've heated the garden...then everything seems to dissipate as I pass out on the cold ground.

_A beautiful swan is flying towards me, carrying something in a sliver parachute. I smile and take it, speaking a word of thanks. I open it and find a doll. It looks like Peeta, from toe to head, perfectly sculpted and shaped. I touch it with my finger to only pull back in screaming pain as my body begins to burn up..._

"Peeta!" I try desperately to sit up and realize it was just a dream. I'm lying on a white hospital bed. My least favorite place. There are too many tubes attached to me and I rip them all off with a painful shriek. I need to find Finnick and Haymitch. We must've gotten caught. I glance down at a new hospital bracelet and see my mockingjay pin stamped on it in ink next to the words: Mentally unstable and in constant pain. I groan softly and rip that off too.

I am wandering the halls of some different hospital. It smells like new paint and makes my head hurt, so I make a frantic escape into another room, praying it's Finnick's and we can find Haymitch and leave. But it's not. Gale is sitting at a table with a small tray of food, looking up in surprise when I walk in.

"Did they capture you too?" I mumble, barely managing to make out the words.

"We're safe," he says, getting to his feet and hugging me. I want to pull away. Any comforting figure scares me now. "We're in a new hospital in the old Capitol." I do not care. It could be fake.

"I don't believe you," I hiss, pulling away. My head hurts even worse in this tiny cafeteria. I run from the room, my bare feet freezing on the new floors. The withdrawal of the tubes is making everything fuzzy again and I am slowing down before I can even speed up. I stumble into a random room and by a lucky chance, Finnick is there, doctors surrounding him.

"Get away!" I try to yell but someone has seen me and injects some weird medicine in me with a shot.

"Hey," the first thing I hear and see is Peeta. His hair is combed perfectly, his clothes clean, and his face is without a single scar. Unlike me. I am wary to do anything, attached to the hospital bed again, but I can't help myself from throwing my arms around him, detaching a few tubes in the process.

"Shhh," he whispers, holding me close. "It's going to be okay." I don't say anything, just revel in the idea that I have him back in my grasp again.

"Where's Finnick?" I mumble suddenly.

"Safe," he says.

"And Annie?"

"She's fine." I pull back a little.

"Fine?" Peeta looks guilty and I know he can't lie to me in my state.

"Well, she had a really bad fit when she heard Finnick was gone," he says, "She passed out lots of times and hasn't been the same since. Really unstable. They're going to bring Finnick to her when he looks a little better."

"Looks better?"

"His face is pretty bashed up. She'd only get worse if she saw him that way." I nod, biting my lip. Peeta reattaches the tubes and kisses me softly.

"I should get back to helping Beetee," he says.

"Peeta, please stay with me," I beg, "The nightmares..." He touches my cheek softly and utters one more word before I nod off.

"Always."

Hi! This is the author, MavisK. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed and read and also apologize for the shorter chapters. I am busy with Christmas prep and things like that, so I may be a little slower in posting. I will have wifi when I go on vacation so I will post lots then hopefully. Thanks again everyone and please review if you would like me to keep writing! You guys keep me going!


	13. Chapter 13

My recovery takes longer than they guessed. Apparently the land mine had a chemical in it to make me slowly lose any feeling in my nerves, but they backfired it quickly so I could still move around. I am walking again a few weeks later, but I like to sit by the window mostly, eating my food and pills when they come, and trying not to have a panic attack. The first time I had one, I sat in the corner with my hands clenched over my ears, screaming for about an hour. Peeta was the only one who could calm me down and I know Gale was watching us on the camera. But I'm too sick to care.

One morning, when I'm watching the snow fall out the window, Gale comes in carrying a box wrapped with fancy ribbon and shiny paper.

"What's this?" I ask, sitting up a little as he seats himself across the small table.

"Your Christmas gift, early," he says, "I couldn't wait and I wanted to give it to you in private." I glance at the cameras. "They turned them off," he explains, "They trust me." I nod. I've never had a proper Christmas. Back in 12, we would get a special day in December off school and use a little of our savings to buy something nice. One year it was a dress for Prim and some extra food, which made us feel rich. Another year it was hair ribbons, which made Prim and I very popular in school for a time. After Dad died, we didn't have much so we would only get a little extra food and make a big fire in the hearth. Now I was receiving a beautifully wrapped gift, and I was guessing there would be more.

"Thank you," I say, taking it from him and opening it carefully. Nothing this precious should ever be wasted. I pull out the gift and gasp. It would cost a fortune in 12, and even though here it is cheap jewelry, the pretty charm bracelet in my hand makes me happier than I have been in a while. The first charm on the silver links is a small bird, then a little heart, a peace sign, and finally, a little circle.

"I love it," I breathe, giving him a small hug. I am trusting people much more now, and as Haymitch carefully explained, that Vanessa was trying to take that from me and turn me into what Peeta used to be. Except worse.

Gale and I sit in silence, watching the snow. It's calming and I want to stay here forever but he informs me of a Christmas gathering.

"It's just Peeta, Johanna, Beetee, Finnick, Annie, Effie, Prim and your mother," he says, "Oh and Haymitch if he isn't too drunk. There are some shops around...maybe we could go?"

"We're nearly under attack," I say, "Why are we celebrating?"

"Because it could be the last celebration we have," he says stonily. I bite my lip thinking about this. I could be dead in just a few days. Not like it was a big deal for me anymore, but I was finally happy with Peeta as my lover. I guess it would really hurt to die right now. Maybe that's Vanessa's plan.

"Okay, let's go shopping," I say defiantly, "And bring a camera crew. I want Vanessa to see me smiling." Gale takes my hand and grins.

"Sounds like a good idea."

We go around the beautiful Capitol shops, buying different things for each of our friends. The cameras follow us to every single place and I think they are as excited as I am. I pick out my first gift, a silver flask for Haymitch. I know I shouldn't be encouraging his drinking habits, but if I'm gonna be dead in a few days, I don't really care. I pay for it and taking Gale's arm, head across the street to a hat shop.

"Effie will love all of these," I say, laughing and running my hand along a bright pink feathery hat.

"I suggest the orange one," says Gale, grinning. I take it down from the shelf and pay for it. Shopping doesn't take more than an afternoon and we get back to the mansion by dinnertime. I have been released from the hospital officially but they gave me a new bracelet on my way out. _Mentally healing. _My mother makes me keep it on at all times and babies me constantly. I argue to sit at the table with everyone and finally she agrees. I squeeze myself between Peeta and Haymitch, listening to Haymitch drunkenly tell Christmas stories. But my mind is somewhere else. So I am going to die. I never had time to prepare for these sorts of things unless I was trying to commit suicide. Now I could actually kiss Peeta goodbye, tell Gale how much I appreciated him, hug Prim one last time...I guess we could try and kill Vanessa, but for once, I don't feel like the rebels have the upper hand. We're already deciding that we're going to die.

I push away my plate and stand up, mumbling about needing to use the bathroom. I stumble out of the room and I know everyone is watching me. I might as well have a sign on me that says I'm "mentally recovering." I walk down the many halls, exploring different rooms mindlessly until I find the one I want. The rose is gone but Snow's office is still set just as he left it to be executed. I know I should've shot the arrow through his head. It would have saved everyone a lot of trouble and I would have felt better. Maybe his granddaughter would have even backed off. Maybe now she thinks I'm a coward. The awful smell is gone so I walk over to the desk and pull open a drawer. Random papers. Why hadn't they gone through this stuff yet? I rip a couple in half because they have Snow's name on them. I sift through the many bills and letters, then move on to a new drawer, this one full of small boxes. I open the first one and find a bracelet with a tiny rose charm on it. I throw it across the room. The next one has a small note, with a name hastily scribbled on it.

_Vanessa _

I almost drop the paper with a small cry, only to rip it open and read:

_My dear Vanessa,_

_I fear that the rebels are coming now to take me for my execution. Or at least to be imprisoned. I am leaving my mansion to you if you should ever grasp control. I only wish that you do me one little favor. Make sure Miss Everdeen is dead before she ever has a child. And if needed, kill the rest of her kind. I know you are young but you understand the danger they pose. _

_I love you,  
Your grandfather_

I drop the letter now, stumbling backwards, my head slamming into the window. My head pounds as I slide to the floor, tucking my knees against my chest. Then my mind takes over and I realize:

I will never stop being hunted.


	14. Chapter 14

I manage to get to Peeta and I's room before I feel like I am fainting. I grab a morphling tablet off my bedside table and shove it into my mouth. I lie down on the bed, waiting for the drugs to react but all I can think about is every death threat I have ever gotten. In the end, it's just one little life. One more gone, just like every child in the Games. Maybe if I turned myself in, Vanessa would spare my family. That'd be nice. Peeta could bake more cakes. My thoughts are jumbled now and I am thinking of stupid things like Prim's cat...then I doze off.

00

When I wake up, I am relieved that I have had no nightmares. Then I see Peeta in the bathroom, wearing nothing but his pajama pants and brushing his teeth.

"Hey," he says, spitting his toothpaste out and wiping his mouth clean. "Good sleep?"

"Best," I say. He climbs into bed after shutting off the light and we're face to face again, each lying on our sides. I don't say anything which is just as fine. Part of me wants to tell Peeta exactly what's in my head, but instead I am making a plan to turn myself in. It seems even better of an idea when I'm off the drugs. I curl into his chest and he puts both his arms around me tightly. I realize this could be the last time we get to be alone and I whisper in his ear.

"Peeta?"

"Yes?"

"I love you." I haven't said it in those plain words before and they sound beautiful and soft in the silent room.

"I love you too." He kisses my nose softly and we snuggle even closer. I hold back my tears as I revel in the moment, my head on his chest and our bodies so tightly knit together. It's a perfect moment and I fall asleep like this, nightmares banished from my mind.

00

I wake up last the next morning and decide that I have to do it. I have to find Vanessa and I have to turn myself in. Maybe we can make a bargain. I die, and my list of people live. I clumsily reach into my drawer and pull out a notepad and a pen. I scribble down the first name.

_Peeta_

The love of my life and my best friend. He's mostly the reason I am leaving. I kiss my finger and place it on his name. I write down the next one.

_Haymitch _

We don't agree on everything but he's always been around when I needed to talk to someone when Peeta was so intent on killing me. I kiss my finger and tap his name.

_Prim_

She isn't little anymore but she's stronger too. She has so much to look forward to. I give her name a kiss too.

_My mother_

Even when she fell into depression and I was cold to her, I loved her still. She is now the mother I need. One by one, I write the names. _Finnick. Effie. Beetee. _Before I know it, I am writing names like Rue, remembering each special person in my life. I reach the end of my paper and squeeze in one last name. My father. I can't write anything for him. No words can put together the painful loss I still feel. I rip off all the dead people's names and set them on my pillow. The rest I keep in my pocket. I write a note to Peeta before I begin to plan my leave:

_Peeta, _

_The boy with bread. That's what I always called you in my head. Maybe I loved you from the start and didn't realize it. Sometimes people are blinded from things like that. But I know I love you now. I love your hair when I brush it from your eyes. I love your bright blue eyes that I can almost see in the dark. I think that if we had more time together, I'd like to have a kid. A girl probably. You would argue for a boy, I know it. _

_Peeta Mellark, you are the best person in the whole world and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that.  
Love,  
Katniss _

I can barely finish because my eyes are full of tears as I fold up the letter, scribble his name on it, and set it on his pillow. I get up from our bed and change into a black long sleeve, black pants, and put on my father's hunting jacket. I braid my hair slowly before heading down to the control room. My first motive is to steal Beetee's map to where Finnick and I were kidnapped. The bunker. Everyone is at breakfast so I easily sift through drawers of supplies. Then I see it was right in front of my face on the table, folded up with an _M _marked on it. Obvious. I snatch it up and tuck it into my backpack. I swing my bag onto my shoulders and run out, my boots clicking against the smooth floor.

The dining room is on the way to the front door, so I take a small detour and end up at a back door of the kitchen, a little lost. Better than nothing. I try to wipe myself of emotions as I hear the happy chatting of the others. I pack lots of food and five bottles of water. I don't know how far the bunker is away but I can't think about that now. I take my bow and arrows but I know I will deposit them along with my backpack once I find the bunker. If a deal is to work, I need to throw away all my weapons. I finally finish packing and head out the back door. The snow is thick and deep which will only make it harder.

I start the long hike away. With one last look at the mansion, I realize my eyes are dry and I am ready. I can do this for them even if it means I cannot see them again. I am cold the moment I finally step into the woods. The snow is falling yet again and I can feel the flakes hitting my face. I start to feel regretful about not staying to open gifts with everyone, but it would just hurt more. Maybe they wouldn't even care that much. Maybe they could value their own lives against mine. Which is what I wanted right? But Peeta would be heartbroken...I know he would. I realize I am clinging to a tree for support, my legs having trouble holding me. I'm really doing it. I am leaving everyone I know and love just to probably get myself killed.

I trudge on anyway, the snow freezing me to my core.


	15. Chapter 15

I am freezing cold by the time the sky is dark and I can't see very well in front of me. I manage to make a small fire and eat a roll while tossing snowballs into a rabbit hole. I pull another coat from my backpack and wrap it around myself, trying desperately to hold in my warmth but I am still shivering. I wish I had some company. Anyone. Even Buttercup would be okay. He's stopped hissing so much recently since Prim almost died. I guess he's scared but I think he just got a little smarter about the whole world. I don't know. I pull out a couple pills from my pack and swallow them down with a bit of snow, feeling my whole body relax against the chill. I am just slipping into a sweet dream when the nightmares take over and I'm screaming again as I slide down the snowy hill I was perched on and wake up. I am not going to fall asleep out here, so I give up and start walking again. The snow is thicker in many places where the trees don't cover the ground. I am breathing hard by the time I reach another small lake and smash open the ice to refill a bottle.

That's when I hear the twig snap.

I immediately think of Vanessa or one of her guards, but my drawn bow is pointed only at a doe when I turn around. I give a sigh of relief but shut my mouth as I put away the bow and watch the deer run off. The wind seems to have given up on trying to freeze me to death so I take off one of my layers and get moving again. I am warming up considerably as I climb big hills tirelessly and easily manage jumping from tree to tree to keep my toes from freezing. I am getting the hang of it when the cold hits.

It's like in the arena, when I thought Peeta and I would die in the cave from hypothermia. Whether it's some ungodly weather or the president's daughter has found me and is trying to torture me, I cannot walk any further. I climb down from a tree, sinking to my knees and crawling across the snow. I throw on as many layers as I own and tuck myself under a small ridge. However, the snow keeps falling and the wind blows it right in my face, chilling me to the bone and making me want nothing more than to die right then and there. I rip off my gloves at the numb feeling in my fingers and see that they are blue. I stick them under my coat even further.

Finally, I cannot take any more and lay down on my side, gasping for air but only getting cold in my throat. I am half-dead until I see an angel. No, not an angel. A person. A strong shape, carrying a knife and slicing branches out of his or her way. They finally come into focus and as I start to slide out of consciousness, he is there, holding me in his arms. Gale.

"C'mon Katniss," I hear him say. His words are choked like he's been crying. And Gale never cries. My vision is blurring but I can feel as his lips meet mine for a long lingering kiss, long overdue for him I can tell.

I pass out before I can smack him.


	16. Chapter 16

It was like I never left the mansion. I am lying back in my bed, a million tubs attached to my arms again. My vision, blurring worse than ever, is giving me a horrible headache when I wake. My whole face feels too hot and I desperately try to wrench myself away from the bed. I need to go back...hike to Vanessa, give myself up...but I am strapped to this stupid bed in my old enemy's house. I fall back under the drugs crying.

0o0

When I wake back up, Haymitch is watching me. I try to tell him to leave me alone but there is some sort of breathing device attached to my mouth. And my arms are still immobile.

"Have a good nap sweetheart?" he asks, crossing his arms. "Good, because I didn't. Do you know how much pain you would put through every single person in this house if you died? Not to mention we'd lose our Mockingjay and advertising would go down a whole lot. How about we keep your little heart beating since you're the backbone of our plans?" I try to kick him but I am obviously meant to stay on the bed. He reaches over and takes off the breathing device. I feel a small pain in my lungs but it's gone quickly and I am okay.

"I was supposed to get out of here," I snap, "Haymitch, please." I try to look innocent and needy (a hard thing for me to do) but he just shakes his head.

"Katniss," his voice is softer, "What I want to know, is how you ran away without giving one thought to how Peeta would react?" My heart is sinking. He means Peeta had a meltdown.

"No," I say softly, "He didn't." Haymitch just stands up and puts his chair away.

"Think about your actions Girl on Fire," he says, "You cause more probelms than you solve."

0o0

I am still trying to escape my bed when Gale comes in a few hours later. I really want to see Peeta, but after glancing at my wounded friend, rage fills me with new thoughts. He kissed me. I remember now. My thoughts are much clearer now with his face in view and as he pulls over a chair, I snap free of one of my arm bands.

"Gale!" I cry, "You-!" He holds up a hand.

"I saved your life, that's what I did," his voice is harsh and unforgiving, which almost makes me want to take back the horrible words I was ready to spit at him. I am almost drawing back in fear.

"And whatever else happened," he says, "Doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," I snarl, "You kissed me!"

"I was scared for you!" he cries, "And if you didn't notice, I still love you Katniss!" I can tell he wants to take the words back, but they hang in the air like a thick morning fog. He kicks his chair away and practically runs from the room. More memories rush into my mind. He had been crying. His face, filled with dread is haunting me now. I can't sleep and I don't. Peeta doesn't come in when night falls and I don't think I could face him anyway. When I finally give up on trying sleep naturally, I pop two morphling tablets in my mouth and the drugs drag me into a parade of horrific nightmares.

0o0

The next morning, food is brought to me by Prim, who silently frees me of a few tubes and bands. I can tell she's been crying and I want nothing more than to hug her, but she just leaves me my meal and walks out at my mother's call. I sip my broth thankfully but the bread is too heavy and I throw up into the wastebasket before I barely get two bites in. I end up drifting in and out of bad dreams, while they mix with real life. Finnick and Annie visit me, but assume I'm asleep. They slip into my nightmares too, burying me in snow. Someone leaves me broth and bread and I am finding myself going into a routine. Sleep, eat, cry. It's a vicious cycle I manage to break by ripping off the rest of my straps, which seemed to have been loosened for me. I rip out the remaining tubes with a painful gasp and get to my feet, walking out of the room slowly. I pull myself to go towards Peeta's old room, knocking softly.

"Come in." I almost get excited until I remember he's ill and might try to kill me. I open the door little by little until I can peek an eye in. He looks like me, lying on his bed, strapped to it. His sweaty hair is messed around his forehead, his eyes have huge circles under them, and his hands are clenched to his side, like he just woke from a nightmare.

"Peeta?" I whisper, opening the door even more and slipping in.

"I'm okay Katniss," he says, "Come here." His voice is soothing and doesn't sound hostile at all, so I approach his bed and sit down on the edge. I touch a hand to his forehead, smoothing back his hair. I unstrap his armbands, not caring if he tries to attack me or not. I just need to see him a little freer. He holds out his arms and I envelope myself in them gratefully.

"Better?" he whispers.

"Better." I bring my legs up to lie next to him, squeezing together on the small mattress.

"Don't do anything like that ever again," he says. His voice cracks and I fear I may cry.

"Like what?"

"Katniss." I bite my lip.

"I was trying to save you all," I say, looking up his chest at him. "I don't want you to die."

"Katniss, if you die, I would have probably killed myself before a war even started." My eyes fill with tears and I remember Haymitch's words from so long ago. _You could live a thousand lives and not deserve him. _I agree with that. We fall asleep in each other's arms and I know Peeta is content that I am home. But I will never be. If he dies, I don't want it to be at Vanessa's hand.

And besides, we are all probably going to die.


	17. Chapter 17

Haymitch shakes me awake and I realize I'm still lying on Peeta's bed, except the blonde haired boy is gone.

"Where's Peeta?" are the first words out of my mouth.

"Getting things prepared," he says.

"For what?"

"The attack." His words hit me like a slap in the face.

"Who's attacking?" I say meekly, knowing the answer. He ignores me.

"They'll be here very soon," he says, "The only way we got a warning was Beetee seeing their hovercrafts thirty miles off. It will be only fifteen minutes and I wanted you to sleep until we could get you to do your job without a fuss."

"I don't mind being in combat," I say.

"You won't be in combat," he says, "You'll be down in the bunker with your family."

"No!" I cry and he rolls his eyes.

"I know you'd say that," he says, "Why do you think I waited until it was fifteen minutes till?" I follow him out of the room angrily, sure that this isn't over.

"Where will Peeta be?" I ask.

"With you."

"You need more soldiers."

"No we don't Katniss, and especially not mentally unstable soldiers at that." I have no argument, so I just walk down to the sitting room where Beetee is hooking up a huge gun on a stand, pointed out the window. Beads of sweat pour down his pink face as he checks last minute plans and hooks up cords to the big TV.

"We'll see everything happening in the battlefield," he says to Haymitch. "We'll try and keep them away from the city, but they may have more hovercrafts than us." He scrambles up and down his big table, tapping away at a calculator. Haymitch pulls me away from the sitting room and I am in the kitchen where soldiers seem to have taken over the space, loading guns and gearing up. I want to stay and get my bow loaded. I want Vanessa dead, even if it means my own death. But Haymitch seems to be able to tell what I want, so he drags me away and down a dark hallway.

"The bunker is this way," he says and I feel like I'm going to be closed in forever. I pull my arm away from his grip and stop walking.

"I can't," I say weakly. I must look pitiful, standing there in my nightdress, a shawl wrapped around my shoulders and my hair a mess.

"You have to go down there-"

"I want her dead!" I cry, slamming my fist into the wall. "Haymitch, she tortured us! Finnick and I! I saw dead people...and Prim...and we were drowning and oh it was awful. Please let me."

"Katniss," he says softly, "I didn't know."

"I know you didn't," I snap, crossing my arms. "Let's just go." I give up on trying to argue, knowing by his sympathetic look, there's no fight to be fought. I take the small set of grimy stairs down to the bunker, carrying a box of canned food Haymitch gives to me. I know he can't come down, but there's a soldier waiting at the bottom to help me in. It's a dank and musty place, with flickering lights and many bunks. I see so many of the new Capitol citizens and realize it feels just like a bombing in 13. I force myself to walk over to my mother, Peeta, and Prim. Peeta stands to hug me but I can't really function properly trying to hug him back. Prim invites me down to sit on her sleeping bag and I do so numbly. My head is pounding from the underground pressure and I deny any food offered to me. I want to be up there, where they are preparing to fight.

Gunfire starts about twenty minutes later, making my whole body freeze and breathing hurts. After a quick scan around, I realize that Gale, Johanna, and Finnick are all fighting. Each gunfire makes me want to curl into a ball and never come out, but Peeta keeps me going, feeing me small bits of canned food even when I throw up some of it. He gives me water but I tell him I just want to sleep. I climb into one of the creaky bunks and try to get comfortable on the dusty mattress but even with Buttercup venturing to keep my lap warm, I can't get used to the sounds of bullets and explosions. I swear I'll lose my mind. Finally, my mother brings me a morphling tablet and I fall fast asleep just as I feel Peeta climb in with me...

0o0

I am awakened by the sounds of shouting and Haymitch is yelling my name. I finally drag my eyes open and sit up as him and several other soldiers run in, someone wounded lying on a stretcher.

"Who is it?" I mumble, jumping out of bed and running to Peeta's side. The stretcher is lowered onto the ground just as I see the person.

Covered in blood and several bullet holes in his armor, Gale is screaming in pain, his voice echoing across the dark basement.


	18. Chapter 18

I don't remember much except Peeta's strong arms pulling me back from the stretcher and holding me back until Gale was taken away. I think I am screaming but I can't really tell in my hazy state. I reach out for something, anything, but I only find air as someone slips a morphling tablet into my mouth and I am asleep again. I can't get the image of Gale out of my dreams and I am crying when I awake again. I stifle my sobs through my pillow until my eyes are dry and my chest hurts. I take a few shaky sips of water before I decide to try and find Gale. I have to know if he's alive because as I watch a snoring and probably drunken Haymitch, I'm not going to get much information out of him. And considering I still have a hospital bracelet on my wrist, no one else will help. I step around the still bodies, all curled up in their sleeping bags, some whimpering from dreams, others silently breathing. I am cold down here underground so I steal an extra blanket from a storage area and wrap it around my shoulders. I go down a deserted hallway to find more sleeping quarters. I wonder how long this bunker has been here and if Snow ever used it. He did have his off-site one too, but as far as I know, they caught and killed him before he was taken to any safe place.

Finally I reach an area that looks like a medical room. White sheets with my mockingjay slapped on them hang from the stone ceiling, hung around in a rectangle shape. I can't hear anyone beyond the curtains so I brave the sickness and step in. It smells like a large dosage of sanitizer and fresh bandages. And a little blood. Long curtains hang side by side, metal beds in between them. There are no patients at first, then I see a soldier moaning in his sleep, gripping his stomach. I bite my lip and move on. I am close to tears as I reach the end. Gale isn't here. I practically run out, almost knocking over a questioning nurse who just came in. I run through more and more hallways, shouting for Gale. _He's not dead…he's not dead…_I am sobbing, my chest heaving by the time I collapse onto the floor of an empty hallway. I hear footsteps and know someone has found me. As if by magic, I realize I have one morphling tablet left in my pocket and stuff it in, not able to be near anyone, even if they know where Gale is. Which if he wasn't in the hospital…I can't even fathom Gale dead before the medicine drags me under once again.

0o0

I wake up and I'm back on the bunk. I am so sick of this passing out and waking up in new places. I sip some water before turning and seeing Peeta sitting against the wall, a can of beans in his hand. He's pale and shaky, his eyes a little too wide for normal.

"Peeta?" He merely shakes his head. I back off but I don't have time to assess his situation before Haymitch is next to me, holding out a can of beef stew.

"Where's Gale?" I ask weakly, ignoring the food. "Just tell me he's alive."

"He is still alive Katniss," says Haymitch, "Although after your little incident last night, we had to move him even further away. No one is allowed near him right now."

"Why?"

"He is in critical care. We're still trying to get his heart back to normal." My throat feels like glue, making me unable to speak. Critical care. Heart. Those words are never good.

"Your mother is with him," continues Haymitch, "He'll be okay." I barely nod then look back at Peeta.

"He's not doing so well with the gunfire sounds," says my mentor without me even having to ask. "He's been like that since you ran off." I turn back around, knowing it'd be safer to leave him alone.

"Is the attack over?" I ask hopefully.

"No," says Haymitch, "They've moved off to four. Seventy soldiers already dead. We moved in ten more wounded. It was mayhem, trying to get them off the battlefield while everyone was still fighting." He runs his hands through his hair in frustration. "I've been talking to one of our head soldiers…and we think you should come in." This is a shock to me, seeing as it wasn't even a question 24 hours ago.

"Really?"

"Really. People don't have any hope anymore. If you were out there, with the cameras and your mockingjay suit. And the bow, that always works, maybe people would come out of hiding and help us. This girl is intent on carrying on her grandfather's legacy."

"And if I die?" I gesture to Peeta.

"You'll die for a good cause."

"He'll kill himself!"

"Do you want to do this or not?!" I try to wrap my head around it. I would die, but Peeta could be okay. Therapy and lots of baking, he might be able to move on. If he died, I wouldn't. I stand up abruptly.

"Yeah, let's go."

0o0

It doesn't take long for my prep team to put a little makeup on me and dress me up in my mockingjay outfit. I swing my bow around my body and hang my sheath across my chest. The team is worried but they can't help but talk about Effie and Haymitch.

"I saw her kiss his cheek," says Octavia, giggling. I should be disgusted that they still gossip so much, but it almost calms, like I'm not about to go out into a war and try to get people to fight. I run a brush through my hair and braid it to the side, finally ready. People are gathering around, wishing me good luck and hugging me. One man even kisses my cheek and tells me to shoot well. It almost hurts how much I think of Gale. Finally, Haymitch brings Peeta over and I throw my arms around the boy. He's a little taken aback by my hug and I know he's still unstable but I couldn't care less. I don't need a kiss or time to lay with him, just a good embrace.

"Goodbye," he says, his eyes unfamiliar and almost cold.

"I'll be back," I promise, squeezing his hands. Haymitch nods to Peeta and we begin our long walk back up the stairs. I am shaking with nerves and terrified of what I will see at the top. We finally reach upstairs and I am overtaken by the smell of blood and rotting bodies. The kitchen is filled with bustling nurses and doctors, as well as soldiers repacking guns, about to board a hovercraft in the backyard.

"You'll go with them," Haymitch hisses in my ear. I can only nod. We reach the sitting room and it's been torn up considerably from soldiers coming in and out. I walk to the window and that's when I see the images that have woven their way into my nightmares. The buildings are smoking with old explosions, the ground littered with bodies. Guns lie abandoned everywhere and most have hands still clenched around them. Enemy trucks, once filled with people, lay discarded to the side of the road, tires popped or doors torn off.

"Y-You should have let me up sooner," I manage to spit out. "I could have helped." Haymitch just shakes his head and we go to board the hovercraft. I am seated in between two silent soldiers, who are examining their weapons to make sure they're operative. I can only sit and try not to throw up as Beetee is explaining a battle plan. Which is basically find shelter and shoot from there. My camera crew gives me each a hug before we're landing and Haymitch is shouting out to be careful and keep your head down. The back door of the hovercraft opens and everyone stands to get out.

Right as we walk forward to step out, someone screams something incoherent. Then someone repeats it.

"GRENADE!"


	19. Author's Note: 5000 views!

A/N

Sorry this is not a new chapter, but I'd like to say a little thank you to everyone! We hit 5000 views! I am so delighted and frankly, amazed at the feedback you have all given me! It's such a joy to write for you all and I can't wait to do more. I want to especially thank my reviewers, who as well as the views, keep me going in writing the story. I really want to tell you guys how appreciative I am. Like literally, so much. And I will do something special maybe when I hit 50 followers! We are at 28, and I'd also like to thank you guys the most because I know that you check back for chapters and even that by itself makes me feel happier than anything.

I am currently on vacation, and I will write as much as I can and do have wifi, but it's also family time so the chapters may be a little scattered. However in between the time I get home and Christmas break, I hope to have tons of time to write as much as I possibly can. And keep reviewing, reading, following and even setting it to your favorites! You are all fantastic and I should have thanked you sooner.

XOXO,

MavisK


	20. Chapter 19

The explosion is everywhere. The hovercraft is being demolished around me as many more go off and I am thrown to the ground by another one of our soldiers. He helps me army crawl out but as soon as we're in the empty field of bloodbath, he's shot by an enemy. I scream and drag myself away, wrenching my bow from my back and looking for his killer. A random Peacekeeper is coming towards me, gun raised. Then there's the small faint of recognition in his eyes as my bow is faster than his trigger and he falls down dead. I stumble to my feet, trying not to focus on that and pull another arrow out, placing it on my bow and turning around to keep my guard up. Peacekeepers are everywhere and guns are shot without mercy. I cling to one of the many boulders, shooting when I can. It's worse than the Games as everyone is falling down from the bullets, as Peacekeepers march across the bodies, and as more grenades go off.

"Katniss, BEETEE!" Haymitch barely shouts in time as I whirl around and see the small blinking bomb by Beetee's foot. I cry out as it goes off, shooting me backwards with a wave of dirt and killing my friend.

0o0

Haymitch helps me to my feet but I won't stay with him long as I run to the littered ash, crying silently for Beetee. The bullets are still coming in fast and I have to keep shooting as I push my sadness away and kill more Peacekeepers. But something is different. Their armor is stronger and none of them seem to be falling to the ground. Someone is yelling retreat and I am already losing hope, as I glance back at Beetee's ashes and backing up slowly, make my way to the hovercraft. Then someone is dragging me along even faster as more grenades blow up around us. When I reach the hovercraft, it's already starting up as I scramble into a seat. It takes off and I am left with only a sick stomach and a loss of optimism.

0o0

When we get back, people are out of the bunker and have returned to any place still standing. I know that people are still trying to rebuild and I wish I could help, but I am ordered to bed by my mother. But I have visitors. Johanna, to talk about Beetee with me. It hurts too much but she insists it'll make me feel better. I just shrug it off and listen to her talk. I am not in any pain but I suffer with insomnia for a while so I have to stay like this. Finally, Peeta comes to see me. He holds me a in a tight embrace until I finally drift off for a few hours. We barely say anything. He brings me food, we share light kisses, and finally, we're talking, sitting next to each other on the bed.

"I'm sorry," I say, "But if I hadn't gone…"

"What?" he says, a little harshly. "Beetee would've lived?"

"Things would have gone differently," I say, "Now we've lost him and way too many soldiers. There's something about the Peacekeepers.

"Stronger?"

"Yes. And their armor is thicker. Less were going down." Peeta is thinking of something, I can tell. He bites his lip and rubs his hands together.

"What?" I ask, gripping his arm.

"What if they're robots?" I digest the idea and finally come up with an answer.

"Impossible," I say, "All the robots were recalled years ago."

"Old scraps," he says, slipping his hand into mine. Then the terror takes over and I realize it _is _possible. I choke on my next words, finding the horrible meaning in his.

"Then we're doomed."


	21. Chapter 20

I try to tell Haymitch all of this on the way to dinner the next night, but he won't listen.

"It's impossible," he says, "Unless they have a genius on their side, which from what we've seen, I doubt they do, it's not gonna happen."

"But if it did," I cry, "We would be doomed, right?"

"Don't be dramatic Katniss," he says, "We're going to win this thing."

"And what if we don't?" I stop walking and grab his arm so I'm right in his face. "What if we don't win? What happens to us?"

"She wants you dead obviously," he says, "And everyone else. Or turned into slaves. Think you can overcome her?" I bite my lip trying to form my thoughts. No I don't think I can but I know I will try until there's no hope.

"Yes," I lie, "C'mon." I release his arm and we go to eat. I slid into a chair between Peeta and Finnick, casting small glares at Gale once in a while. He got out of critical care and goes around in a wheelchair now, but we didn't get a happy hello. This is the first time I've seen him since I ran through the hospital screaming his name. I know he'll pull me away to talk later. I poke my food until Finnick finally speaks up.

"Effie's been in therapy all week," he says, "She should be okay soon." Annie makes some comment about Effie quietly and I hear Finnick answer her softly. I shift my meat around a little longer until I tell Peeta I feel sleepy, which is a lie. Gale follows me out in his wheelchair but I try to walk fast to avoid talking to him.

"Katniss, stop!" I whirl around and he almost slams into me.

"You can't just say something like that!" I spit at him, "I am with Peeta, you have to understand that!"

"That's just the thing," he says, "I don't understand. You would barely even know him if you hadn't volunteered for Prim."

"I don't care," I say, "I fell in love, simple as that."

"You had to love each other!" he cries, "You didn't just fall into it like a normal person!"

"It was all fake until I did! And no matter what anyone else feels about me, I love Peeta." His face is crumbling from confidence to woe. His bruises look brighter in the florescent light and his face seems older.

"I'm sorry…"I try to say but Gale just rolls away and I swear I hear him choke on a sob. I almost lose my lunch at the thought. Gale never cries and it tears me apart to hear him. Finally I leave the empty hallway and spend the next three hours crying in a supply closet while trying to stop myself from taking more medicine. I finally emerge from my long sleep and find Peeta looking all over for me.

"Where've you been?" he asks, taking my arm in his as we walk. "We got a message from Vanessa." I speed up as we go to the control room and seat ourselves among the small throng of people. I am right in front, facing the Capitol seal and the horrible anthem blaring around me. Vanessa comes on screen with two Peacekeepers behind her.

"Hello rebels," she says, her snakelike eyes darting back and forth. "Having fun? So am I. I do have a passion for war, unlike my grandfather. I'm sure by now you've figured it out. All I want is Katniss Everdeen. Or is she Mellark yet? I heard you two never had a proper wedding. How sad." Her lips curl into an evil smile. "Now. Just give me Katniss Everdeen. Give me her and all others lives will be spared. Even Peeta's. Think about it." The screen flashes the Capitol seal and turns off. Everyone is silent and I know they're all watching me. Peeta grips my shoulder and quietly leads me back out of the room. As soon as the door closes, I hear everyone start to mumble. Peeta takes me upstairs to our room without a word and we sit in the window seat together.

"You okay?" he asks after a long time. I don't say anything, just watch a curiously slow snowflake fall to the window sill. Peeta accepts my silence and puts his arm around me. I rest my head on his shoulder and let a few tears fall.

"I think I'm ready to die Peeta," I say suddenly.

"No you're not," he says, squeezing my arm. "You're barely twenty five and you can't leave me."

"I can't fight her," I say, "And I can't let you die."

"If you die so do I," he says, "You already tried that once and see where it got you."

"But this time I am certain I can save you and my family."

"She could be bluffing."

"Why would she? She has enough power to kill us all now." Peeta nods and I bury my head into his shoulder, dropping a few tears on his sweater.

"Well, we'll figure it out eventually," he says, kissing my head. "For now, stay put." I agree silently with a small nod. We're still sitting there when Haymitch calls us down for dinner but I'm not hungry and Peeta won't leave my side, so food is brought to us. Prim delivers it and sits down to talk for a while.

"You feeling any better?" she asks me. I nod.

"How is everyone doing with the news?" I ask, slightly curious about Gale.

"Haymitch is trying to compromise with people but they seem pretty angry. Finnick is helping to recruit more soldiers."

"When is Gale going back in?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Didn't you hear? Gale left the Capitol."


	22. Chapter 21

I try to sound calm as I ask the next question. "Where did he go?"

"No one knows," she says, "We found his wheelchair in his room, abandoned. He left a note but it said your name."

"Why didn't anyone tell me sooner?" I snap and Prim looks hurt. "Sorry," I add.

"It's fine," she says, "Haymitch thought you weren't well enough." Will I ever be healthy enough? I want to shout this out loud but just clench my fists together. The pain of Gale and the stress of the war and Peeta being like he is…it makes me want to just go ahead and kill myself to get it over with.

I reach out my hand, "Can I have the note?" Prim nods and runs off to get it.

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks me once she leaves.

"No," I admit, "He's my best friend…"

"I know," he hugs me tight, "Why would he leave?"

"No idea," I lie but I know it could be because of the hurtful words I said to him. When Prim comes back with the note I open it silently and walk to the bed to sit down and read it alone. But there are only two words on the fancy Capitol paper:

_Shoot straight_

My hands are shaking and I can't steady them no matter what I do. Tears form in my eyes but I brush them away angrily and push the letter deep in my pocket, trying physically to bury my pain. I go back to Prim and thank her. I thought nothing could get worse until ten minutes after Prim left Peeta and I, Haymitch walked in.

"What is it?" Peeta stands to meet him but I stay seated, knowing it can only be bad news.

"They'll be here in ten minutes," is all Haymitch says.

0o0

It's not like a 13 bombing. Instead of going to safety, everyone is staying still, hugging their loved ones close. Finnick and Annie huddle in a corner, Finnick whispering things to her. Haymitch is with Effie, holding her hand tightly in his. I realize what I have to do before anyone tells me.

"Can I borrow Haymitch?" I ask Effie kindly. She nods, her eyes never losing that fear. I squeeze her hand and walk away with Haymitch to a darkened hallway. We are silent for a moment, both thinking the same thing. I have been explained to how the enemy got past the mansion's protections and that they're going to bomb the place.

"They can't kill you," says Haymitch, gripping my shoulder.

"But they can and they will," I say, "For your survival."

"They can stop your heart," he says solemnly, "But they can't kill the idea. We'll keep fighting."

"Haymitch, it's not use-"

"We' .fighting." I am close to tears but he stops them by pulling me into a strong hug and whispering, "You're going to do fine." We're back in the main room and I am trying to grasp my imminent death while Peeta asks me what that was all about with Haymitch. My mentor is at the front of the room, getting everyone's attention. I tune out his speech about my sacrifice and watch Peeta's reaction. First, confusion. Then, horror. He turns to me but I just shake my head. People are crying, running over to me to say their goodbyes or some, try to stop the plan. Finnick holds me for a lingering hug and tells me he wishes he could be me instead. Effie is sobbing as she hugs me and won't let go until Haymitch pulls her away himself. Johanna is fighting back tears, I can tell, but she just says she'll meet me in hell and hugs me. I wish Gale was here, for parting words, but I find it surprisingly easy to embrace death without anyone. So many times I have told myself I am going to die. So many rehearsals and now it's opening night. This time I won't wake up in a hospital bed safe and warm.

My mother isn't crying as she holds me close with Prim nearby. I know she's acting strong for me. I hug Prim and I know this has happened before for them too. When I volunteered. They thought it meant death. When I went to war. Death. I can hold them close this last time. I have this moment that I wouldn't trade for anything. Peeta is last. We go out of the throng of people and first, he tries to convince me not to do it.

"Peeta, stop," I cut him off mid-sentence. "This has to happen. But I need you to do me a favor." Tears are streaming down his face and he won't let my hands go, but he nods.

"Don't kill yourself," I say, "Keep living and if you ever have children…"

"I won't love anyone else Katniss," he chokes out, "I can't."

"You can," I whisper, touching his cheek. "Just make sure you keep living your life okay?" I try to sound casual but it makes Peeta only hold me tighter.

"Can't I go with you?" he whispers.

"They won't honor the deal if you're there," I say softly, kissing his cheek. I am starting to get frightened but I swallow the fear and stay strong for Peeta, just like my mother is doing for me. We don't pull away for several minutes and I know it's painful when Haymitch says the hovercrafts are near. Peeta walks out with me, holding my hand the whole way. Any Capitol survivors in the building are there, all kissing their three fingers and holding them up for me. I hold mine up back.

"They can't kill you, remember that," says Haymitch in my ear when we reach the balcony doors. "You go out there and make sure they know you're alone. Then…" He finishes the sentence with a hug. I have had more hugs today than a lifetime could supply and it comforts me. I look down at my Mockingjay outfit and run my hand along the familiar fabric. Peeta and I share a last kiss. I had always hoped this kiss would be when we were old and both sitting in wheelchairs, being told one of us only had a few more days to live. But no. I am here, merely twenty two years old, having my last kiss with the man I love.

And that hurts more than any bullet.

The doors are opened and I am stepping out. I wish I could have my bow, since it's always felt a part of me, but it's in a closet somewhere, probably never seeing the light of day again and if it is, most definitely to be destroyed. I grip the railing of the balcony as I hear the doors close behind me and the hovercrafts draw near.

"I am alone," I whisper. Then I shout it at the flyers. "I am alone!" I see the guns draw out and Vanessa's voice drawls out of a loud speaker.

"So you got smart," she calls, "Okay Girl on Fire. Time to fulfill my grandpa's last wishes." The machine guns are all pointed at me and I know she's having fun with so many bullets. It's sickening. I think about the times I thought I was dying. Last words never seemed important to me, but they do now. I don't want the last words on my lips to be "I am alone."

"Fire at will," I hear Vanessa cry. I think of Peeta's lips on mine and his strong arms around me as we fall asleep. I'm just falling asleep again. I wrap my arms around myself and close my eyes.

"Peeta," I whisper and hear the first bullet.


	23. Chapter 22

But there is no impact. My eyes fly open as I am pushed to the side, landing on my hip painfully. I can't see as someone pins me down and the sound of gunfire fills my ears. I cry out for Peeta, Haymitch, anyone. I feel the person on top of me suddenly collapse and I drag myself from their grip. Bullets are flying by my head, each missing. But I can only form one thought. Gale is lying in front of me, his arm bleeding thickly. He is mumbling something over the gunfire.

"Gale!" I scream, pressing my hands to his arm to stop some of the blood. "Gale, it's gonna be okay." But inside, I'm panicking. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to die. I shouldn't still be here, missing every bullet coming my way.

"Katniss," Gale seems to be using his last strength to speak louder. "You need to go. Get out of here."

"No," I say quickly, "I'm g-going to get you t-to a safe place." His face is covered in mud and his hair looks like it's been cleaned with dirt. His clothes are ripped and bloody, which only makes me move faster. I struggle to my feet with him, keeping a hand on his bleeding arm and another on his back to hold him steady. I hobble back into the mansion and realize the army shooting from just beyond the balcony. Gale was the only thing on my mind until now. They are fighting. They don't want me dead now that someone chose to save me. I see Haymitch shouting out orders as soldiers run out the front door, guns shooting everywhere.

"Haymitch!" I gasp. He turns around and looks like he's seen a ghost. Which I must be to him.

"Who is that?" he cries without questioning my survival.

"Gale." I push his chin up to face Haymitch. He's fading fast.

"Give him here," says Haymitch, taking Gale from me. "And get somewhere safe!" He runs as fast as he can with another person weighing him down, before I can say another word. I turn round and round, watching the fighters march out.

"Peeta!" I scream, looking everywhere for him. "Peeta, where are you?!" The walls of the mansion are crumbling from bombs as the noises around me tune out anything else. I am running hard as I head towards the kitchen, where all the weapons are kept now. I hear another explosion and know it's a bomb exploding the front sitting room. I am in tears now, searching everywhere for Peeta. I grab my bow and swing a sheath of arrows onto my back. I wipe my face clean and load an arrow, running out of the kitchen and into the throng of soldiers. I don't have a plan. I always did until now. I would die in public, for Vanessa. But Gale...I can't figure out whether to thank him or hit him. I am in the battlefield, surrounded by demolished Capitol buildings, my fear slivering away as I see the trauma and hurt of the dead bodies. Then I realize. These are no Games.

The real war has returned.

0o0

I am firing arrows wherever I can, but my eyes are peeled for Vanessa, not Peeta. I know if I kill her, some of this, if not all of it, will end. I shoot a Peacekeeper and duck into a nearby building to count my arrows. Sixteen. Ten of them are fire. Five are electricity. One is normal, sharpened to perfection. I bring my head up to the window to look out at the fighting. Someone has set pieces of rubble on fire, which is making it hard for my people to get to the new and improved Peacekeepers. I shoot a few but it takes more than one arrow to bring one down. And one of them notices me. I shoot again but he ducks just in time and runs towards me, his gun pointed at my chest. Hand outstretches. I grab an arrow. Last fire one. The next thing I know, he bursts into flames, falling over next to me.

"Please..." he moans, clutching his chest. "Please..." I am filled with agony and pain for the man but I can't stop now. I run out of the structure, tears building up again. My stomach is clenched in misery, the smell of rotting bodies filling my nose. Peacekeepers see me again and again, and I shoot them...again and again. I crawl into another building and collapse on the ground, breathing some fresh air from the back window, where no bodies linger.

"Katniss?" I whirl around, bow raised but the person behind me is no enemy.

"Johanna!" No matter how bitter she usually is, we embrace, I crying and her breathing a sigh of relief. When we pull apart, I focus on her face a little more. She is dirty and a tooth is missing, but there is no blood to be found on her body.

"You're alive!" she gasps at me, "But..."

"Gale came back," I say, "He must've knocked me over and then got shot in the arm. Haymitch took him and told me to get somewhere safe."

"Nice choice," she snorts, "Middle of the battlefield."

"What happened when I went out on the balcony?"

"Well...everyone was just sort of frozen. They waited and then they heard Vanessa taunting you and they just lost it. Whether they had armor or not, they were grabbing weapons and running out. Then Haymitch started shouting orders and we were officially at war. Then I ran out with some soldiers and have just been ducking in and out of buildings, shooting as many Peacekeepers as I can." She holds up her two small guns and I notice a belt of bullets on her waist.

"Okay," I say, trying to form some sort of strategy for winning this stupid war. "But where's Peeta?"

"He was one of the first to run out," she says shakily, "He opened the doors for everyone and I haven't seen him since." Another way of saying it, _he's probably dead. _I hold back my sobs for now and load two arrows in my bow.

"Let's go," I say. We run back out, my bow shooting mercilessly and Johanna's gun firing everywhere. Peacekeepers are dropping down in hovercrafts by the numbers as I dodge between them, yelling for Peeta. I have two arrows left to defend myself, so Johanna tosses me one of her guns and a couple bullets. I have never liked the feel of a gun, but I want to save my arrows, so I am shooting down Peacekeepers with the bullets. I am disgusted that I can kill so easily, but they don't seem so human when a mask is over their face and they'll murder anyone in their path. So I keep shooting.

I am panicking again, still calling for Peeta. _He's not dead. He's not dead. _I know if I find him dead, my first consideration will be as to whether to kill myself or let someone else do it. I know I don't want my death to be done by a Peacekeeper, but at the same time, I don't think I could do it myself. I run down the street, hysterically screaming now. I know I can't go on like this for much longer as my legs start to scream in pain and my head is filled with dreamy thoughts. I try to focus on the task, but Johanna is running farther and farther ahead as I slow down. I fall to my knees and drive my gun into the ground to hold myself. I am leaning down, trying to catch my breath.

"Katniss, get up!" Johanna is yelling in my ear, trying to help me up.

"I can't," I try to say, but my breath blocks any words. Johanna pulls me to my feet and steadies me. She hisses in my ear.

"I found Peeta."

0o0

I am kicking and screaming as she drags me into a building.

"Where is he?" I cry, pulling away, "Take me to him!" I try to pull away again and end up hitting my chin against a table. Hard.

"Not yet," she whispers, pulling me over to the window and ducking down. I am spitting and gagging on blood as I collapse to the floor. Johanna forces me water and I gulp it down gratefully, spitting out any remaining blood and wiping my chin on my sleeve. Johanna reaches into a pack on her belt and wipes my chin with a sanitizing wipe.

"Where's Peeta?" I finally get to ask.

"He's injured, but he'll be okay for now."

"For now?!" She grips my shoulders.

"Just follow me." I clean the dirt off my gun and hold it close, both shaky hands steadying together. I wipe any remaining blood away and kick open the door, shooting at nothing just in case. I run out, Johanna in front, screaming for people to get back. I follow her close behind, gun at the ready and feet slipping on the wet blood covering the broken sidewalk.

"In here!" she cries, running into an alleyway. She picks up a ragged blanket and tosses it aside, revealing Peeta who is lying on another thin blanket. I gasp at the sight of him. Face, drenched in ruby red blood, one hand wrapped in a dirty rag, his arms and chest covered in sweat.

"Oh my god," I whisper, dropping to my knees and cradling his bandaged hand in mine. I am crying once again but Johanna doesn't tease or say anything. She merely wipes more blood off his face and pushes his hair back.

"Katniss?" his eyes flutter open and I give a sigh of relief.

"I'm here," I whisper, pulling off the rag from his hand to see an ugly wound. I borrow one of Johanna's wipes and clean it up, rubbing carefully.

"You were dead..." he whispers. His throat sounds clogged with blood so I grab the water and let him drink.

"I know. I lived." Johanna steps away to listen to something in her ear microphone and I get closer to Peeta, kissing his chapped lips.

"You shouldn't have left the mansion."

"And you shouldn't have put yourself up for killing."

"Touche." Despite anything going on, we both smile. I re-bandage his wound after cleaning the rag off with water and help him to his feet. Johanna comes back with a grim look on her face.

"Haymitch knows you're with me," she says, "And he's really upset. We have to get back to the mansion."

"It's not demolished yet?" asks Peeta.

"Apparently not," she answers, "Let's get there quickly. Rain is starting to fall as we leave the alley and run up the sidewalk, shooting as many Peacekeepers as we can. Peeta has a big gun but he'll be out of bullets soon, so I give him mine and go back to my bow.

"You can't survive with two arrows!" he shouts at me.

"I can try!" I cry back as we get closer to the mansion. I use my first arrow on a Peacekeeper and run to retrieve it. I shoot another but he is still alive so I shoot my last arrow. Fire. He is in flames in seconds but my arrows burn up with him.

"Katniss!" Peeta grabs my arm and drags me inside the mansion just as a bullet whizzes by my head. The doors shut and I am standing in the rubbish remains of the hallway.

"Katniss, Peeta, we have to get out!" Johanna is in my face, her eyes wide with fear. Then I look past her and see the worst person that could show up at the moment.

"Hello sweetie," says Vanessa.


	24. Chapter 23

I try to swallow my fear but it climbs up and I feel like I could puke. Vanessa has two guards beside her, one already holding back Johanna and the other taking Peeta's gun.

"Leave him alone," I beg.

"How about I just shoot him?" says Vanessa, "It'll make things easier." I hold back a scream and drop my bow.

"Okay, have it your way," I say, voice a little shaky. "Kill me and spare him. Deal?"

"That _was _the deal sweetie," she says slyly, "But your little friend managed to clean up that mess and now look at you. Barely injured and nearly all my Peacekeepers dead. Nice job. But not good enough. I still infiltrated your mansion and took down most of your soldiers. Do you want to know how?" I don't answer, just wish I still had one arrow.

"I'll tell you," she says softly, "We blew up half your people." Names fly through my mind. Gale. Haymitch. Effie. Finnick. Annie.

"No," I say, "They're not dead."

"Who are you referring to?"

"My friends."

"No one has friends Miss Everdeen. They have allies who in the real face of danger, wouldn't die for them. Trust me, because I know. You don't have any friends."

"Katniss, don't listen to her," cries Peeta before being kicked in the stomach by his Peacekeeper.

"Leave him alone," I whisper, "Please." Vanessa cocks her head a little to the side.

"And if I don't?" I imagine an arrow going through her heart and find that I am not horrified by my own wickedness.

"I will do whatever it takes to kill you." She laughs.

"You talk big," she says, "But-"

"I wasn't finished. I will hunt you down for the rest of my life. No matter where you are, prepare yourself to die because I will find you. I will be the one to shoot any weapon into you because if you kill the love of my life...I swear to you I will kill you as well."

"I do not fear death."

"Then fear me." I see something flicker in her eyes and realize it's dread. She is scared now. At least a little bit.

"That will only make this much harder," she says, her stony face returning. Then she kicks me down onto my back. I cringe in pain but hold back any cries. She kicks my stomach and I roll over with a groan.

"Stand up," she snaps, "And watch your home burn." I manage to get to my feet. Then I lunge for her. I hear Johanna hit one of the Peacekeepers as I claw at Vanessa. I am sitting on top of her, holding her down but she's fighting back and Peeta is busy with his guard. I bring my fist in for another blow but someone is pulling me back.

"Let's go!" Haymitch. I realize I have hurt Vanessa badly and her face is bleeding from my nails and fist. My mentor pulls me away as I burst into panicky tears. She doesn't look like a threat anymore, lying on the floor, trying to get away from our guard's pulling arms. She hisses one last word before they pull her away.

"Pain."

0o0

I must've passed out because I wake up on a hospital stretcher, in some sort of makeshift doctor's office. There are no tubes connected to me this time, but a bandage is attached to my chin and someone has spread lotion over my scratched up legs. I sit up and tear off the bandage with a painful gasp. There is no one else around the white sheet room as I stand up and walk around, looking into other rooms. The floor is dirt and gravel, cutting into my feet but I don't care.

"Peeta?" I whisper hesitantly. "Johanna?" I finally reach the end of the curtained hallway and push it away to reveal the mansion. It's smoking and there's a lot of rubble everywhere, but it still looks recognizable. The kitchen, with scattered bullets and guns everywhere, looks especially dark, surrounded by dead Peacekeepers. I pick up a gun and hold it with both hands, just in case. I am still wearing my Mockingjay outfit, but my hair has been unbraided and pushed back. My clothes are ripped and a little bloody but other than that, I look clean.

"There you are." Haymitch is standing at the doorway of the kitchen, a bottle of whiskey in his hand. "We won."

"We won?" I repeat dully. It doesn't feel like a victory, surrounded by dead bodies and bloody weapons.

"Yeah," he answers, "We lost almost all our soldiers but the Peacekeepers retreated when they heard Vanessa was captured."

"It seemed a little too easy."

"It wasn't." We stand in stony silence until I drop my gun and listen to it hit the ground.

"Do you want to kill her?" he asks.

"No," I answer at once. She is my age. Poisoned by her grandfather probably and evil on the inside, but still barely an adult. "I can't."

"Then what now?"

"I want to talk to her." Haymitch doesn't say anything as he leads me up the cracked stairs and into the old dining room where Vanessa is tied up against a chair. Her head is bowed, her silvery hair covering her face. She doesn't move as I walk in and stand across from her. Nothing moves except her mouth, which I cannot see.

"Are you here to shoot me?" The mocking, slithery tone is gone. It's replaced by utter fear and woe.

"No," I say truthfully. "I don't want to shoot you." I hear Haymitch close the doors behind us but I know someone is watching on a camera.

"You did once."

"Those were words."

"They were true!" Her voice echoes across the big room, making me shiver.

"Not anymore," I whisper.

"Then what do you want to do to me?" she asks, bringing her head up. Her face is scarred from my nails, her snakelike eyes wide with anguish and maybe even fear. "Torture me? Let the people shoot at me?" I gulp but she doesn't seem to notice. She throws her head back to put her greasy hair out of her eyes.

"I don't have a solution," I say, "For all I know, you could be acting and have another thousand Peacekeepers ready to kill as soon as we release you."

"You're smart. But oddly stupid too. I don't have any more Peacekeepers. Why would I get caught if I still had a war to win? If I still had hope, I wouldn't have fear."

"You're scared?"

"I'm not scared of you. I'm scared of the feeling you get when a weapon is put into your hands. You seem awfully confident with a bow and I don't think it'd be that hard to kill me once you have the chance."

"You're wrong."

"Am I?" We are both still, staring each other down until I have to look away. She scoffs.

"Have a nice life Miss Everdeen," she says, "I don't think we'll be seeing each other again." As if on cue, Haymitch tells me I need to come out. I walk back to the door but not without one quick glance at Vanessa. Head bowed. Arms tied back. Crying.

I am reminded of myself.

0o0


	25. Chapter 24

I finally get to see Gale in rehab despite Haymitch's objections. Prim takes me to the new rehab building where my mother recently got a job. Nothing feels won, but people are still celebrating as I walk through the streets. Things are being rebuilt and roads are being cleared, but it doesn't feel like the war is over with Vanessa still trapped up in a bedroom in the mansion. We get to the rehab building and Prim drops me off, saying she's off to buy Haymitch some whiskey.

"He'll love you for that," I say, a small smile on my face.

"He's paying for it," she laughs, holding up some money. I go into the building and am overwhelmed by the smell of cleaning supplies. My mother is at the front desk, scribbling down something feverishly until she notices me.

"Gale?" she asks quietly. I nod. She points to a small room with the number 2 on the door. I thank her and head inside, bracing myself for the worst. He is up at least, sitting on the edge of his bed and moving his working his arm with a weight. His hair looks cut and clean, but the rest of his body is covered in scars. His arm is heavily bandaged and some sort of purplish wound is on his leg.

"Hey Catnip," he says, like I've just met him in the woods for hunting. "You look good." I glance down at my own damaged body and shake my head.

"You saved my life," I say, standing in front of him awkwardly, afraid to sit down for some unknown reason. "Why?"

"Because," he says, setting down his weight. "I almost killed Prim." So it's about paying me back. He doesn't care whether he loves me or not. He wants to pay me back for almost killing my sister, not try to win my love.

"But I was supposed to die," I argue.

"We won Katniss."

"We lost over half of our soldiers and the rest are injured."

"They would've died anyway."

"No!" I cry, "They would've had horrible living situations and been slaves, but they would have been alive and eventually, someone would take over Vanessa's reign of terror!"

"No one could take over her Katniss." I bite my lip because I know it's true.

"Well, I just wanted to see you," I say softly, turning to the door.

"Katniss..." I look back at him. "You should be happy to be alive. You've got your family. Peeta. Haymitch."

"And you," I say. Without thinking about it, I hug him and leave before he can say another word. I am starting to feel drowsy by the time I get back to the mansion, so I dismiss dinner and go straight to my room. Peeta and I were moved to a different bedroom, close to Snow's old office and just across the hall from Vanessa's.

"It's the only place that was livable right now," my mother had said. So I go to that room now and fall onto the bed, closing my eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

0o0

When I wake up, Peeta is by my side and it's dark out. He looks small and forgiving in his sleeping state, with his hands laid aimlessly on his side, his neck bent to rest on his pillow. His chest goes up and down, sometimes a small twitch of vivid dreams filling his mind. I run my hands along his face, touching one of the healing cuts. I run a hand through his blonde hair, shimmery in the moonlight. I place a small kiss on his cheek before lying down again and staring up at his calm face until I drift off.

I have an interesting dream that night.

_Running. I am running faster and faster, like a bird about to take flight. And I do. I am soaring through the air, dropping my gun, my bow, and all my arrows. The braid in my hair falls out and I feel completely free. Then I am falling. I try to scream but no sounds comes out as I suddenly hit the ground. But it's not ground. Someone has caught me and is laying me down gently. I look up but the person's face is hazy until they pull something from their belt. Then I can see it's Vanessa, just as she slices a knife through my chest. _

I wake up screaming and fall out of bed. Peeta is at my side instantly, but I can't stop crying as he helps me back onto bed and tries to calm me down.

"No, NO!" I scream, looking down at my chest and seeing my nightdress ripped a little. My breathing is hard and raspy as I look for some sort of sign of Vanessa. "Was she here?" I gasp, clutching the side of the bed. Peeta puts his warm arms around me and whispers, "No." I curl into his body, keeping my hands clenched in fists, my head rested on his chest.

"Peeta?"

"Yes?"

"Will you sing to me?"

"What would you like me to sing?"

"Anything." I have never heard him sing before. He doesn't say anything about the song, just opens his mouth and lets the words fall out in melody.

"Here we are...sleeping with the moon, dying by the quiet stillness. Our minds are slipping away, as we drift into sleep, our hands are uncurling, with stress gone back to the deep. Maybe I'll wake up again, or maybe I'll just fly away, where the moon is waiting..." Tears form in my eyes at the song and I kiss his cheek before he lays us both down and I fall asleep in his arms.

0o0

I eat breakfast alone the next day, while Peeta bakes some bread for everyone. I sit up in the room and stare out the window, which is smaller than in our old room, but still clean and clear. Spring brings clouds and rain and while it pours, I think. I am trying to come up with some sort of plan for Vanessa that doesn't involve killing her. I've murderered enough people. _But she tried to kill you and was probably going to kill your family, _my brain screams. I fight away the thought and finally just decide to go see her again. I don't bother changing out of my nightdress for lack of need to and step out into the hallway barefoot. The door is just two down from ours, across the hall. I knock but there's no answer, so I just open it. It's one of the nice rooms, with lacy curtains, a big queen sized bed, and a small girl, curled up by the window, reading a book. Her cheeks look hollow like she's been underfed, her pajamas much too big. Her hair is pulled back messily into a ponytail, her eyes drooping with dark purple circles under them.

"I knew you'd come," she says, "Did they tell you I've stopped eating?" An untouched plate of breakfast sits on her bed.

"No they didn't," I answer quietly. She just smiles and looks up from her book.

"Do they tell you anything?"

"They tell me enough."

"Obviously not. Would you like some more information?"

"I doubt you know anything I don't."

"How about the little fact that Haymitch is planning to kill me without you knowing?" My mouth drops open but I contain my gasp.

"He wouldn't," I say, crossing my arms.

"You'd be surprised," she answers, "I bet right now, one of those cameramen is going to get your mentor to tell him what you found out." She points up to one of the security cameras.

"He wouldn't keep something like that from me!" I shout, but the truth is sinking in. Haymitch thinks I care too much about her life. And maybe I do. Vanessa can see the realization in my eyes as the door flies open and a guard asks me to come out.

"No," I say, whirling around. "Close the door."

"Haymitch orders-"

"I don't care what Haymitch orders!" I yell, "Close the door!" The guard stares at me in shock for a moment, then shuts the door with an earth-shaking slam. I turn back to Vanessa and walk up to her quickly.

"What else do you know?"

"That is all."

"Tell me more...please."

"Here's one. You can't decide whether to kill me or not."

"I already knew that one."

"You should kill me."

"No."

"Yes. You know why? Because I'm a threat. No matter how weak I am, I'm a threat. Even when I'm dead. And I shall be soon." She touches her thin cheekbones. " . ."


	26. Chapter 25

"How many times do you think you'll save my life until I actually die?" It's the first joke in a long while. Gale and I are hunting, with Peeta's approval. I am still furious at Haymitch but he stays locked up in his room, refusing to talk to anyone. Vanessa has started eating again. I have expressed several times that I'd like to kick him very hard. But today, I shove a lot of extra stuff out of my mind, and focus on shooting. I hit a couple birds before I make the remark about Gale saving my life.

"Remind me again of the first time," he says, throwing a small knife into a tree with great skill.

"I'd rather not," I say. I am unwilling to relive the day he kissed me.

"Katniss, whatever happened between us doesn't matter anymore."

"Okay fine." I smile a little. "I was going to be fine, you just decided that I was gonna get hypothermia."

"Your lips were solid blue."

"Liar."

"They totally were." I shoot down another bird with the shake of my head and we sit down by a patch of berries to rest from the hike.

"Nightlock," says Gale softly, running his hands along the stem of the fruit. I grab a handful and hold it out, just like I did in my first Games. Before all of this started. But I guess it really started when I volunteered for Prim. Maybe a rebellion was already stirring before I got in the way and made the flame bigger for everyone.

"Look," whispers Gale, pointing to a small rabbit just four feet away. I load my bow and he nods. I pull back and am about to shoot, when something flashes in my vision. Vanessa, bound to a chair, her hair hanging. I scream. The arrows flies but I miss the rabbit by a mile, as Vanessa vanishes from the ground and the hare runs away. I try to catch my breath, falling back onto my bottom as my brain wracks with only one thought.

"Katniss, what happened?" asks Gale, gripping my shoulders.

"Gale," I mumble back, "I can't do it. I can't kill her. I can't kill any more people."

0o0

I make a plan to see Haymitch and Effie even gives me a key to his room to let me in. She is still shaky from whatever the enemy did to her, but she her old self is coming back as she kisses my cheek and runs off calling for Octavia. Haymitch's room is on one of the higher floors, where there happened to be less damage. He refused to move. I take the big stairwell up floors and floors of construction work, until I reach the dim lit hallway. It seems to be a servant area, with less fancy bedrooms and no paint on the hallway walls. The lights are almost all broken, smashed or just burnt out. I find his room, with a sloppy painted H on it and knock softly.

"Haymitch, we have to talk." Silence. I bite my lip, waiting for something, anything. Then a chair screeches as it is pushed across the floor. I step back just an inch as the door flies open. Haymitch is staring at me, his body a mess. His hair is pushed back greasily, his pajamas still on, and his eyes red, all give off an air of someone who lacks any sort of hygiene whatsoever. He is carrying a half empty bottle of whiskey and there's a pencil behind his ear.

"What do you want?" he snarls the moment the door is open.

"I want to talk to you," I say, fighting off the urge to faint from the smell of the alcohol on his breath and the stink of his clothes.

"No," he says at once. He slams the door. I hear the lock click.

"Damn you!" I cry, kicking the door. "Damn you Haymitch!" I kick it one more time before turning on my heel and leaving the hallway. I meet Peeta at the bottom of the stairs and he opens his mouth to ask me how it went.

"He's the worse person in the world," I growl before he can speak.

"Okay..." He takes my hand and we walk away from the stairs. I'm still fuming and kick anything I can reach with my foot.

"I hate him!" I cry after a moment's silence.

"I know," says Peeta, "I know."

0o0

The next morning, I'm still angry at Haymitch but I decide to take action if he won't. I go down to the tech room and find Gale puttering around with some of Beetee's old stuff.

"Here's my plan," I say without a hello, smacking my notebook down on the table. Gale looks at me oddly then picks it up and reads.

"Psychiatry lessons for Vanessa? Really Katniss?" he looks back at me. "She tried to kill you and your family."

"Her brain was poisoned by Snow! This is reform!"

"This"- he gestures to the notebook –"is stupid. She won't change. Were you not paying attention when she talked to you? Do you think she's just going to pop out of rehab and be your best friend? She is evil Katniss. Sorry to be dramatic, but she really is." I clench my fists.

"I just can't kill anyone else Gale," I whisper, "I can't keep murdering people and animals." He touches my hand.

"You don't have to. Someone else will."

"But it'll be because of me."

"She brought this on herself, there's nothing you can do." I sigh because I know he's right. But I still don't want her dead.

"Just...let me see her one last time and make a final decision on how I feel. Okay?"

"Okay."

0o0

Gale accompanies me to Vanessa's room and after a quick word with the guard, I'm free to go in. I open the door slowly, expecting to see Vanessa curled up by the window again, still skinny, but then I remember she's eating again and must be better. I open the door fully and see her sitting on her bed, staring at a book.

"You came again," she says, looking up at me. Her face has filled out back to normal, her hair washed and combed, running in small curls down her back. She has minimal makeup on, but it shows off her pretty face in a luminous way. I feel even worse than ever about killing her.

"Yeah," I answer after a long pause. "I'm here to make a decision."

"And that would be...?"

"Whether to have them kill you or not."

"Ah," she says pleasantly. "Well, that might not be your decision Miss Everdeen."

"I don't care. It should be." She just shakes her head, a little smile on her pale face.

"Maybe it's mine," she says softly. Then, out of nowhere, she reaches under her pillow and pulls out a gun. My first thought is that she's going to shoot me, but then I put her words and the weapon together in my head and realize what she's about to attempt.

"Vanessa, NO-!" I scream but she holds it to her head, her finger reaching around the gun. I lunge for her but she just laughs.

And pulls the trigger.


	27. Chapter 26

I am screaming but no one cares as they drag me from the room. The gun only fired once but it echoes in my mind, making it hard to breathe. Vanessa's dead body is lying against the pillows, her hand still clenching that stupid weapon. My body is drenched in panicky sweat as guards pull me from the room.

"NO!" I try to scream but the wind is knocked out of me from the shock. I claw at their hands, trying to go back, save Vanessa...they take me to my bedroom and lock me in. I wish they would just put me to sleep with drugs but I am mentally tortured as I replay the suicide in my mind. I curl up on the floor, my knees tucked to my chest, my body still shaking. I know they're telling Haymitch now and he's probably satisfied with how she went out. No one deserves to die. No one. I set my forehead on my knees, my eyes squeezed shut. My breath still comes in short gasps, probably because of my thighs digging into my gut. I finally uncurl myself after about half an hour and walk around the room, searching for something to put me to sleep. I locate half a morphling tablet in the bathroom cabinet and figure it's better than nothing. With a quick sip of water, I take it down and collapse into bed. I am drowsy almost instantly and fall asleep just a few minutes later.

0o0

Peeta's voice cuts into my nightmares, unclogging the sleep from my body. I turn over and face him. It's dark and his face is half-lit by the moon, but he looks pained. He's sitting up next to me, his head resting against the bedframe.

"Are you okay?" I whisper.

"No," he answers. His voice cracks and I sit up with him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Nightmare?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he says, but then continues. "You were dead. You killed yourself...because I had some sort of breakdown. You said you couldn't. I tried to ask you what you couldn't do but you just said "I can't" over and over again..." His words hang in the air like poison, making my eyes water and my throat close up. But I hold back every feeling and just wrap my arms around him. He's crying now, soft sobs and then hard, pushing his chest up and down with force.

"Katniss, why are we so afraid of death?" he asks, hiccupping a little. I try to think of a good answer.

"Maybe because everyone fears the unknown," I say, "When you know what's coming, you can make a plan. You have time. But you don't know what happens after you die, so people get scared."

"I think that's true," he says, running his hand along my hair. "For everyone."

"Some people aren't afraid," I say, "I don't think Haymitch would be." My anger at him still stands horribly strong, but I like talking about him dying. "Wonder how he'd like that. Get the same fate as Vanessa."

"You know you don't want Haymitch dead."

"At the moment, it wouldn't be so bad." Peeta says nothing, just holds my hand to his chest and strokes my hair.

"He said I could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve you," I whisper after a moment. "A long time ago."

"He's wrong. I don't deserve you Katniss." I shake my head.

"I told him nobody decent ever wins the Games. One of us is decent and the other isn't. Simple fact."

"We both turned out okay I think." I smile and kiss his cheek.

"I hope so." I snuggle into his arms, hoping we both fall asleep in peace.

0o0

The next morning, I take Peeta out hunting. It's warm and sunny, as summer kicks in. I wear a nice tank top and shorts, putting my hunting boots on.

"We'll spend the whole day in the woods?" he asks as we pack up some food.

"I thought that'd be okay."

"Of course." We head out at eleven, Gale watching us from his bedroom window. I know he always wants this to be our thing, but I want to share it was Peeta and I really need some calming thoughts. Vanessa is still haunting my mind but I find it easy to push her away as I step into the woods. The ground is moist from a light rain and my boots squish up water as we walk.

"There's a lake not far off," I say to Peeta. "We can eat there." He nods and we silently tread through the forest, my arrow in my bow and his knife tucked in his belt. I see a wild squirrel but I can't shoot it. My hunting instincts are fading and it scares me. I don't want anything to die because of me anymore.

"Too fast?" asks Peeta.

"Just not in the mood," I say, swinging my bow around my back. "Not a big deal. We have more than enough." The walk is quiet and unfamiliar with Peeta by my side instead of Gale. I don't shoot anything but do show Peeta the nightlock we found the other day. He spends a little too much time handling it, just sniffing and rolling it around in his palm. Finally, we reach the warm lake and unpack the rolls and cheese. The sun is right over our heads and warms me up wonderfully. I slip off my boots and dip my toes into the lake. It's cold but I get my calves in and just sit there. Peeta seats himself down beside me and puts his own feet in, wincing at the cold. Eventually we both warm up and I rest my head on his shoulder, my hand intertwined with his.

"I like this," he says, breathing in the fresh air. "I can see why you're always out here with Gale."

"Yeah," I say, "This is perfect weather. Kind of makes you forget everything else horrible."

"It really does." He smiles at me. "Katniss?"

"Yes?" He sits up a little straighter.

"We never had our wedding."

"What do you mean?"

"Will you marry me?" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black box, opening it to reveal a simple but beautiful diamond ring. I am completely frozen. My answer is yes of course but I can't get the words out. This moment. The sun on my back and the woods around me and his bright blues eyes looking at me hopefully, has turned me speechless. I just nod as the tears stream down my face. He throws his arms around me and I go in for a long kiss. It's perfect. I never believed in perfect but this is a perfect example.

"I love you," I say, pulling back a little.

"I love you too."


	28. Chapter 27

Peeta and I decide not to announce the marriage until everything is settled back down in the Districts. I am having nightmares every night but Peeta has to go give a few speeches in other Districts, but he says I should stay behind and talk to Haymitch. I am tired of being cooped up in this stupid house without someone by my side at night, but I agree. I usually spend my time checking out the construction, drawing, or taking hikes without my bow. Gale has noticed my change in hunting and tries to ask me about it at dinner, but I dismiss it with a wicked kick under the table. Finally, I get up the courage to ask to speak to Haymitch alone. He has been coming to meals, but other than that, he's down in the control room. So I visit him down there after asking Finnick to leave us alone after dinner, since he's been helping recover Beetee's info on some of the tech. I go down after a late dinner, carrying a half-emoty bottle of beer, hoping it'll keep him happy but at least fairly sober.

"Hey," I find him by the electric box, tapping buttons and clicking in wires.

"What do you want?" he growls. He knew I was coming, I can tell.

"I want to talk to you," I say, shoving the bottle in his face. He turns to me and takes it, drinking it down in one gulp.

"Fine," he snarls, "But only for as long as this alcohol lasts in my body." I roll my eyes but sit down across from him at the big table. I'm silent for a long time, just looking him over.

"Okay," I finally say, "Why did you want to kill her so much?"

"Sweetheart," he chuckles, "You know why. She tried to kill everyone I actually have ever cared about." He still looks angry, but coming from Haymitch, he's trying to say I'm his friend and he loves me.

"But she's a human, living and breathing."

"Who made some very bad choices," he says, "Choices become consequences and consequences end in death when she does something like this." He points to a wall currently being repaired across the hall. "And she deserved to die. You know that, I know that. What turned you so soft anyway?" I want to retort and run out for him calling me soft, but I just clench my fists together and answer truthfully.

"For once in my life, I don't want to be equal to the enemy. I want to be the better person. I don't want to kill. I don't want to stop any more hearts beating." He looks at me for a long time, draining the last drops of his drink.

"Okay," he says eventually, his voice quiet and calm. "I understand." Then he kicks back his chair and leaves the room. I sit there, a little stunned by his niceness and his exit. So he gets it. He is another victor after all. It makes more sense the longer I think about it. He's probably tired of killing people too.

0o0

"I talked to Haymitch," I am on the phone with Peeta while I write down some wedding things. I can barely think of anything but Peeta suggested I do it before my mother tries to take over. I told him she wouldn't but he just said it was a good idea anyway.

"And?" he asks. I explain the whole conversation.

"Oh," is all he says.

"He was a victor, just like us," I say, "Maybe he's sick of it too. But that still doesn't make sense why he'd kill Vanessa."

"He was probably just scared," answers Peeta and I hear someone call his name. "I got to go, but look for me on TV." I can practically hear his grin.

"I saw you on it yesterday," I fake complain.

"Oh poor baby," he says mockingly, "Love you."

"Love you too." I set the phone back on its place and sigh happily. It feels weird to be content for once. Except for the clawing thought of Vanessa killing herself. Tends to put a damper on everything else. I go to the sitting room with my notebook and try to write some sort of speech. Maybe I could help some people like Peeta now that I fulfilled his request to talk to Haymitch. But what can I say? Peeta is so much better at this than I am. Gale comes into the room holding his bow and asks me to hunt.

"No thanks," I say, not looking him in the eyes.

"Katniss, why not?"

"Nothing else is dying because of me," is all I say shortly. I click on the TV and distract myself with it until he leaves again. Peeta is making a speech about how better the Districts are. I am barely listening until he says Vanessa's name and I look up.

"She was a hurtful person," he says, and he isn't looking at the crowd. He is looking right at the cameras. At me. "But every life needs to be honored. No matter what she did, everyone deserves a second chance and if she wasn't dead, I wouldn't rest until she got one." I am close to crying, keeping my hands clenched around my notebook.

"Thank you Peeta," I whisper with a small smile. He understands it perfectly.

0o0

A/N

I want to thank everyone for the overwhelming reviews and views. We are almost 10,000! Can you believe that? The story is not over, but I am afraid it will be soon unless I come up with a better idea to keep it going. I never want it to end! I have written twenty-seven chapters, more than I have probably ever before. I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for everything! I don't consider myself a very good writer, but you guys boost me to keep learning. Hugs all around!

And may the odds be ever in your favor

PS. If you have any ideas for the next chapter, please let me know. PM me ONLY please. Thanks! Also, if PM doesn't work for some reason, my email is mavisks1999


	29. Chapter 28

A/N

Oh my god. We reached 10,000 views! To say the least, I can't stop smiling. You readers are literally the best ever and I never ever want this to end! I am amazed with the overwhelming kindness from all of you! Please keep reviewing and reading! You are all the best! I honestly can't say I always thought this story was very good or even at times felt like stopping, but you guys supported me so much, I just had to! And it was worth it.

0o0

Peeta gets home around 11 PM the next day. I am still awake and lying in bed when he comes in.

"Peeta!" I whisper, jumping up and throwing my arms around him. "That speech..."

"I know," he whispers back. I smile and kiss him hard. We are sleeping close together that night, fending off the nightmares and putting each other back to sleep when one awakes screaming. But by the next morning, I am more rested than ever. Haymitch is at breakfast and gives me a knowing glance. He saw the speech too I guess. I just keep buttering my toast and give him a small nod. It's not icy between us I would say, but it's something. He understands but I know he still wanted her dead. It'll be hard to forgive him for that.

Peeta tells me Gale wants to go hunting and when I ask him why Gale wouldn't ask me himself, Peeta just shrugs. I find Gale down in the training center, soldier gear on and bow in hand.

"This is hunting?" I ask, glancing down at my boring yellow shirt and black leggings.

"For you," he says, "Since you made your no killing vow."

"Is that a problem?" I retort.

"No," he says and I can tell he means it. "I happen to think you're right."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I think if she'd have let herself live, it'd be fine. No one has figured out how she even got a gun in there."

"She's sly," I answer, grabbing my bow from its place on the wall and shooting a target without bothering to position myself. I shoot another, then grab my father's hunting jacket and put it on. It feels more right. I shoot a couple more before Gale speaks again.

"She might've never wanted to live," he says, "Maybe she just felt she had to do her grandfather's last request and then she would be too broken to move on without him. She had no other family."

"And how do you know that?"

"They did a whole background check after she died."

"Why didn't I hear about it?" I shoot again.

"No idea."

"They never tell me anything!"

"I know." I set down my bow and watch him shoot for a while, silently fuming. Do they still think I'm mentally unstable? I know I'm fine. Peeta knows I'm fine. That should be enough, except for the fact that we still both get traumatizing nightmares. I sigh and twirl my finger around on the table, bored with myself.

Until this happens.

"Miss Everdeen, you need to come upstairs!" A guard is at the door, face sweaty and gun in hand. "You too Soldier Hawthorne!"

"What's-?" I start to say, but Gale mutes me with a shake of his head. We keep our weapons close, running up flights and flights of stairs until the guard leads us to the sitting room balcony.

"Look," he says. In the square below us are dozens of Peacekeepers, all chanting something. I gasp as I realize what they're saying.

"Vanessa Snow is a threat."

A/N

Sorry for the quick chapter, but I am running low on ideas and I need some time to think out what is going to happen next. As always, thanks for reading! PM me if you have any ideas for the story as I desperately need them.


	30. Chapter 29

"What the hell's going on?" Haymitch stumbles onto the balcony drunkenly and Peeta steadies him so he doesn't fall off.

"I have no idea," I mumble, gripping the sides of the railing. "It's like they're demented or something." I watch them closely, trying to break down the doors. I know they can't get in, but it sends a chill through me to see them trying so hard. They are still chanting, waving whatever they can find. Sticks, candleholders, silverware...they have no weapons on them anywhere but seem content in trying to kill us with forks.

"What do we do?" I glance at Peeta. He looks a little faint. "Peeta." He turns to me, gripping my arm.

"Katniss, I think we have to blow them up." A million no's run through my mind but all I say is, "But we don't even know why they're doing this!"

"It doesn't matter why," growls Haymitch, "Just more people who want us dead." I am tempted to smack him.

"Can't we at least figure out why?" I ask.

"Because Vanessa said so," says Haymitch but Peeta nods. But the question is answered all too soon when the guard is back.

"They're mutts."

"What?" I say.

"They're mutts. Snow's granddaughter programmed them to kill you no matter what. And if they can't get to you, they plan to blow the Capitol. There's bombs placed everywhere. We're all dead."

0o0

The word "mutts" keeps running through my mind. Then Peeta's voice enters it, but he's not speaking in real life.

"_She's a mutt! Get away from her, she's a mutt!" _It takes all I can not to cover my ears and scream. I push it out of my mind, but it still haunts me as I watched the Peacekeepers slam into the door. Everyone is looking at me for some sort of confirmatory but I can only stand there, mouth slightly open, hands clenched so I don't lose myself in oblivion by fainting. I look at Peeta and he seems to know what I am thinking. He takes one of my hands in his and doesn't say anything, just waits.

"Is there any other way?" I say, my voice barely a whisper. Peeta shakes his head.

"They're mutts Katniss," he says, "We either let them kill us or blow them up now. Those bombs can only go off around the Capitol by their choosing."

"Okay," I finally say, letting out a deep breath. "Haymitch, go ahead." He nods, and turns to the guard to whisper something. I can't stay here listening to their chants, so I run to the kitchen. I sit at the counter alone, trying to control my breath. I just condemned a hundred innocent Peacekeepers, turned into mutts, to their death. There's no way to fix them. Nothing we can do but kill them. I'm crying anyway. Short hard gasps escape me as I grip my head and lean my elbows against the cold counter. I try to control myself before Peeta rushes in, but he finds me pushing away tears angrily and kicking things.

"Hey, it's okay..." he whispers, hugging me. "It's okay." I don't know how long we stand there, me tucked into his chest and his arms around me, but eventually someone yells out, "Five, four, three, two, one...FIRE!" and the explosion goes off.

0o0

Just like that. All of Vanessa's work to kill me is destroyed. They have demolished her bunker, her Peacekeepers, and of course, her. I don't look out at the balcony until everything is cleaned up. People ask questions and we only answer truthfully, but I do a proper press conference when it's all over.

"People of Old Panem...I am greatly relieved..." I look at the cards and I'm reminded of the amazing words Peeta said on our victory tour without these slips of paper. I set them down. "I am not relieved. I am angry and hurt and scared that once again we will have to kill someone else. Snow's granddaughter taught me that every life is worth saving and had we had it my way, I would've tried to save those Peacekeepers. But we are all safer now and I hope nothing like this ever happens again. Thank you." I expect big applause as I walk away, but all I hear as I turn around is silence. I turn back slowly and see everyone touching their three fingers to their lips and holding them up. For Vanessa. The Peacekeepers. Everyone who died no matter the poison in their brain. It takes every ounce of fight in me not to cry. I touch my fingers to my own lips and hold them up as well, whistling Rue's little song. It hurts but I know not as much as all those deaths.

0o0

I knew the announcement of Peeta and I's engagement would be a rather big deal, but I was not prepared for an entire party thrown in our honor at the mansion, with every citizen who wanted to come could. People flew in from everywhere, trying to get a chance to meet us and congratulate us. My own mother doesn't stop crying through the whole evening and it only makes me smile more at how happy she is. Gale is nowhere to be found but I know it's better this way. Haymitch goes as long as he can, being sober and happy for us, but eventually finds the champagne and runs off with Effie. I wear Cinna's beautiful black Mockingjay dress and so many people want to touch it up close. I took off the wings for the night, but I know they'll go back on when I put it away in my closet. Peeta is on my arm the whole time for which I am grateful as I smile and meet people. My cheeks hurt and I am starving from people pulling me away before I can get food, so Peeta suggests a dance in the middle of a conversation and then we go pig out. The food is amazing and we're shipping out leftovers tomorrow to the Districts. The drinks to make you puke have been banned which most people were okay with. The evening ends a little early but we promise the reception will go on forever and will be even bigger outside.

That night, Peeta and I are both exhausted but still excitedly talk plans while lying in bed. Then he asks me something that throws me a bit off track.

"Would you ever want to have kids?" I turn this over in my head. Before the war with Snow, I always told myself I would never bring children to this nightmare of a life where they would be put up for the Games like animals. But now, with everything better...but is it all better?

"How do we know they'll be safe?" I ask, running a hand through my hair.

"I think we've had the worst for a while."

"But how do we know? Vanessa came out of nowhere. Who's next?"

"Maybe we just have to take the risk," he whispers, gripping my hand. "Katniss, we have the chance to actually create a life in a better world. Why not?" I try to find some sort of objection and instead just admit my fears.

"I'm terrified," I say, "When my mother had Prim, her screams..."

"Katniss...you've been through worse than having a baby." I smile a little.

"Guess it would be a walk in the park." He smiles back.

"Just think about it okay?"

"Okay." We kiss goodnight and roll over to fend off nightmares.


	31. Chapter 30

Nothing feels fake about it as I slip the beautiful white dress over my shoulders and onto my body. Effie can't stop crying as she watches my prep team button and pin the back, fix the sleeves, and pulling my hair back with the veil.

"I really do hope you like it," sniffles Octavia, who is also rather teary. "We have others." I smile and thank them all before turning around to the three mirrors and taking a look. I am someone else. My hair, curled and falling down my back like a waterfall, looks stunning, but nothing matches the dress. Long, and form fitting, it falls out at the bottom with amazing sparkles up and down it. It's got a sweetheart neckline (or that's what Effie calls it when I ask) and long lacey sleeves. The veil is a sparkly headband with a long see-through piece of fabric running down to the small of my back. But the best part is the long black piece of silk, running from my under my arm to wrap around my hips and going down to the bottom back of the dress. For my Mockingjay soul.

"Oh my goodness," sniffs Effie, wiping a tear dramatically from her face. "You look absolutely stunning." I blush hard underneath the makeup and just shrug a little.

"I love it," I say, "Can we show Prim and my mother?" She nods and helps me off to the stand to yet another one where my mother and sister are sitting on a velvet couch, waiting. The moment my mother sees me, she bursts into tears too. Prim doesn't look emotional, just smiling so hard I don't know how she doesn't burst. I turn to them, away from the mirrors and Effie runs over to fix the dress behind me again.

"We'll pin it up for dancing of course," she explains, her business tone turning on. "And your hair, we're thinking a braided bun." I bite my lip, trying to think of what Peeta would like.

"Actually," I say, "Could you just do my normal braid? Down the side of my head?" Effie looks on the verge of an emotional breakdown of happiness but just nods vigorously and runs off happier than anyone in the room. I take one last twirl before going to change. I feel plain putting my brown tank top and black shorts back on, but I also feel a bit more like myself. At least without makeup.

I haven't seen Gale for a while and when I ask about him, Haymitch tells me he's been spending a lot of time in the training center. I look at Peeta and he nods so I go down to the center that afternoon. It's empty and quiet when I get there. I don't see Gale around but I decide to wait around by entertaining myself with my bow, shooting some moving targets. My arm is weak and tired but I keep shooting, each mark of the arrow-hitting solid making me more and more relaxed. I finally get tired enough to sit down and rest.

"Knew you'd come here eventually," Gale has come in silently, as he always walks.

"How'd you know?" I ask, turning around. He is wearing gray 13 clothes and carrying his own bow.

"Because you worry too much," he says, pulling a knife from his pocket and hitting a target, a little to the left of the bulls eye.

"I do not," I say. He's right though.

"Okay," he says simply. He shoots a couple arrows before turning back to me. "I'm leaving before the wedding." There is nothing shocking in his words. I didn't expect him to stay really. Why would he?

"Where will you go?"

"They need help in District 7," he says, "Some sort of tree bug that's poisoning their lumber." It sounds like dull work, but watching his love get married to another man probably is worse. I fight back tears.

"Do you still love me?" I ask softly. He answers quickly.

"No," he says, "If marrying Peeta is going to make you the happiest you've ever been then I think I can say I don't love you." I don't answer, but do stand up and hug him.

"You're still my best friend," I whisper. But he leaves the room without another word. I sit down on the bench again, pressing my hands under my legs to warm them. I feel a little betrayed but I know Gale doesn't really want to stay. He doesn't really want to be the friend of the girl he still knows he loves deep down. I don't want to cry but a few hot tears escape and I can't contain the rest. I had him. I had Gale for just a few months. He may have done stupid stuff and gotten hurt more than I cared for, but those sweet perfect moments in the woods felt like I had my old friend back.

And it hurts to lose him again.


	32. Chapter 31

Peeta can tell something is wrong when I come back upstairs, but I dismiss him as well as everyone else. I go into our bedroom (we got moved back to our old one) and stare at the wedding dress for a while. I try to slip out of this state of discontent, but I cannot stop seeing Gale's disheartened face. I'm not rethinking the marriage...just being careful about whose feelings I hurt. I finally stand up and run my hands along the fabric of the dress. It's the most beautiful and pure outfit I've ever seen and doesn't remind me of the old Capitol at all. My mother wants to wait a while to have the wedding, but Haymitch says the preparations are going fast so we need to pick a date. But Gale leaving hurts and I don't really want to think about anything else for a while.

0o0

Finally my mother just picks a date for us, which obviously worries Peeta. I try to hide any discomfort at my best friend leaving and the more I fake it, the more I believe myself. I am finally happy when it's only two days to the wedding. Preparations have been crazy and ongoing forever. Effie has played a huge part and her and my mother got along okay through the past few weeks. On September 20th, I am to marry Peeta in my beautiful dress, in the huge mansion ballroom, with all my living family and friends.

Except Gale.

My mother suggests something to us which she did with my father at their wedding. Writing our own vows.

"You read them to each other," she says, "It's really beautiful." We agree but as I sit down to write something for Peeta, I am racking my brains with what to say. I will be speaking it out loud to everyone, so nothing too personal, but I also want him to know I love him so very much. I end up with a blank page which I leave as I go to bed.

Peeta and I have our last night before the wedding, curled up together in bed while a cool fall breeze blows in from the big window. I am nervous but also very excited. Peeta is calm, I can tell, as we talk over last-minute things.

"Peeta?" I say during a lull in the conversation.

"Yeah?"

"It's our day still right?"

"What do you mean?"

"There will be so many other people...not just us. It's still for us right?"

"I like to think of weddings as not for us, but for our family and friends. This right now. This is for us." Once again he weaves beautiful words out of my confusion and reassures me in the best way. I fall asleep in his arms for the last time before we are married, my nightmares leaving me alone for this special slumber.

0o0

I wake up like normal, expecting to find Peeta gone off working in the kitchens, but he's still lying there, sleeping soundly. I brush some hair from his eyes, trailing my hand along his smooth cheek to his chest. I feel a little burst inside of me, filling me with warmness as I realize something. I jump out of bed quickly and run to the dresser, sliding a stool over and plopping down on it. I grab a fresh piece of paper and a pen and begin to write my vow...

"Big day, big day!" Effie is at the door just ten minutes later, as I sign my name below the paper.

"Come in," I say, glancing over at Peeta who is now snoring softly and has rolled over onto his face. "Peeta wake up!" Effie strides in, wearing a simple pink dress, her soft hair curled into pretty ringlets. She has looked a lot less fake since she arrived here from Vanessa which I like. I fold the note and opening the closet door just an inch, slip it into the dress' side. Effie shakes Peeta awake while I go into the bathroom to change into a robe. My prep team planned to go crazy today, but I asked for not too much makeup so they agreed grudgingly, saying it was my day after all. They rush in while Peeta goes off with Haymitch without us being able to say good morning. I take a long bath, soaking in the most sweet smelling oils and salts while I think over my vow, hoping it can express my love perfectly. The idea hit me in the best way: While I was staring at Peeta.

After the team puts on minimal makeup and puts my hair into it's braid, I eat a quick meal and am ushered into the dressing room to change into my gown. I realize I won't get another personal moment with Peeta until late tonight. I accept it and read through the vow again. Everything fits as I slip on my small white flats and hook my veil to my hair. My mother and Effie are in tears again, along with the prep team and even Prim. She is one of my bridesmaids, dressed in a short green dress with short lacey sleeves. Her hair is curled around her face beautifully, making her look more like an angel than a teenage girl. I finally look at myself in the mirror and see I'm glowing with happiness.

I'm getting married.

0o0

I read my vow again and again as guests arrive. I am sitting in the small back room of the ballroom, anxiously squeezing my mother's hand and reading. I keep smoothing out my braid, trying not to chew my newly painted nails and also trying not to scream. I hear everyone out in the pews settle down and the minister (a man named Rasco Viola from the old Capitol) says a few muffled words. My mother leads me out to the hallway and I glance in at the crowd. Pews, lined up with white ribbon along the sides, wait happily for the ceremony to begin. Johanna, Prim, and Annie are holding their flowers, their dresses looking amazing on all three. Annie is with Finnick and Prim and Johanna are going to walk side by side, since Gale could never do something like this. I push away any sad thoughts about him and smile as the girls and Finnick head out. Johanna pats her pocket and winks as I see two ring shaped shapes.

The music for me begins and suddenly I'm clutching my mother's arm, making my way through the people. People are gasping and breaking into tears at the sight of my dress and I. But I only have eyes for one person. A dumbfounded Peeta is standing at the front, wearing a fantastic white suit with a little red rose in the pocket. He looks amazed at me but I find him the more handsome one with his blonde hair pushed back stylishly and his hand outstretched to me. He helps me onto the stage and whispers, "You look beautiful." Simple words, but they mean more than just that.

"We celebrate the beautiful marriage of Peeta and Katniss," the minster drawls, "Who together, have been through so much. And who are made for each other..." A long silence while people wipe their tears, kiss their own spouses, and just watch us closely.

"They have written vows," says the minister, "Katniss, you first please." I am shaking terribly as I grab the paper from my dress and begin to read in a small voice.

"Peeta...I didn't know what to write until I realized how much I would lose if you were gone. Just by watching you sleep, I realized that no matter how many words I tried to say to express myself, I would always sound insufficient to the love I really feel. I can't say when I fell in love with you, but it happened slowly and wonderfully. I always thought I was meant to be alone, starving and pained, but even though we've been through horrible things, we came out okay I guess. I would rather go through all that pain again than lose you." Our audience is losing it, tears falling from almost everyone's eyes. Peeta even looks on the verge of a cry. But he simply pulls out his own vow and whispers, "Thank you."

"Katniss," he says, louder so everyone can hear him. "I loved you before the Games. I loved you the day I saw you. I could not believe that such a beautiful girl could be so misfortunate to have to work hard every day to keep herself and her family alive. I have never liked girls who don't speak their mind, or agree with everything. I want to fight with you because you put up a good argument. I want to kiss you because you're a damn good kisser." Everyone laughs. "I want to spend my whole life with you, whether that's just another day, or seventy years." If the audience was crying before, they are sobbing now. My own heart feels full and warm just like every kiss we share feels. Tears stream down my face as the minister announces us husband and wife. Peeta is my one and only and I can't stop loving him. I won't stop loving him ever. I lean in for our best kiss yet, one where I don't have to worry if I'm going to lose him. One that I don't wish it would last forever, because I know we'll have so many more. He pulls back just a fraction of an inch and whispers one last word before this moment is gone.

"Always."

0o0

Epilogue:

_My beautiful daughter runs across the yard, holding a small something in her hand. _

"_Look what I found mummy!" she cries, opening her hand for me to see. It's a small flower, a Primrose. _

"_Like Auntie Prim!" she giggles when I tell her what it is. I push a piece of her long brown hair behind her ear and smile. _

"_Is there a flower named after me?" she asks. _

"_No, you're named after a person," I explain. _

"_Who mommy?"_

"_Rue." She looks at me for a second then hands me the flower. _

"_Do you think Rue would like it?" she asks._

"_She would love it." With that, little Rue turns around and runs off to explore the amazing woods, a place she can call her second home, just as I did. _

A/N

Oh my goodness it's done! An ENORMOUS thanks to all of you who have stuck with this story till the end! I am planning to write another Hunger Games fanfiction, hopefully about little Rue! I want to hug each and every one of you readers, but since I can't, here is an internet hug.*HUG*

Thank you thank you thank you a million times over and I am so glad you all enjoyed the story! :) Ta ta for now, until I begin the new story.

xoxo,

MavisK


	33. IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Hi readers!

Please go check out my new story, "Half a Life." It's a dark Hunger Games fan fiction. I hope you enjoy it and please leave me a review!

MavisK


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